The end was just the beginning
by rachbob
Summary: Arthur's back at Holby with a new attitude, new direction and new patients but how long will it be before things go wrong again? And if they do, will he be able to bounce back? Sequel to spiralling out of control, read that first!
1. Chapter 1

**So I'm back with the sequel, hopefully you'll enjoy this and as it's sequel to spiralling out of control, it'll make more sense if you read that first :)**

 **The end was just the beginning- Arthur's back at Holby with a new attitude, New direction and new patients but how long will it be before things go wrong again? And if they do, will Arthur be able to bounce back?**

Chapter 1:

"So, you've got one more day before you go back. How you feeling?" Dom asked as he sat down on the sofa alongside Arthur. "I'm fine" Arthur said. "Okay, have you taken your meds?" Dom asked. Ben had put Arthur on a low dosage of anti- anxiety meds, just to help him when he needed it.

Arthur sighed and nodded his head, "yes Dom, I have." Dom smiled. "Don't forget that you have a meeting with Hanssen this afternoon" Dom said and Arthur rolled his eyes. He didn't want to have this meeting, he just wanted to get back to work and start fresh. However that wasn't going to happen.

"What time is the meeting?" Arthur asked. "2pm, I think" Dom replied. "Who's going to be there?" Arthur asked, sounding slightly nervous. "You, Hanssen and Serena, why?" Dom asked, sensing his friend was uncomfortable. "No reason" Arthur said looking at the clock. "We better get ready" he said.

Arthur sat outside Hanssen's office, trying to stop his trembling hands. His legs were jiggling, and his breathing was fast. Arthur just tried to stay calm. He breathed in and out, knowing that he had to move on. He was a wreck before, but he's not now. He's ready now, ready for whatever he has to face. At least Arthur hopes he's ready.

"So do you know what we're going to say?" Hanssen asked Serena as they got ready in the office for Arthur. "Yes", Serena replied. "We are explaining to him about what's going ro happen when he comes back" she continued. Hanssen nodded and sat down at his desk. "Should we get him in then?"

Arthur went into Hanssen's office, looking down at the floor, staying calm. He sat down in the chair, put his hands on his lap and looked down at them. They were shaking and his legs were trembling, he took a deep breath and looked up at Hanssen and Serena. Serena had a sad look on her face, while Hanssen just looked stern.

"How have been Arthur?" Serena asked, hoping that was the right thing to say. "Good" Arthur replied, hiding the tremble in his voice. "Good, so you know why we're having this meeting today?" Serena asked, she felt like she was talking to a kid.

Fair enough Arthur didn't look as bad as what he'd done before, but he still had bags under his eyes and he seemed thin; too thin. It was sad, that's all Serena could think of, it was sad. A once independent, confident and great doctor had spiralled out of control and hit rock bottom.

"So then Dr. Digby, myself and Ms Campbell have discussed your return and how it's going to work" Hanssen said and Arthur nodded, his heart beating loudly in his chest. "You're going to return to work tomorrow, okay" Hanssen said and again Arthur nodded. "Now what will happen is, instead of you treating patients on your own, you'll work with either Nurse Fletcher or Mr Di Luca" Hanssen said and Arthur nodded but didn't say anything.

It was like his independence had just been taken away from him. He liked Fletch and Raf but they were there before and knew everything that had happened. Would they treat him differently? Arthur could feel his heartbeat rising and he breathed deeply, forgetting everything around him.

"Is that okay, Dr. Digby?" Hanssen asked and Arthur nodded. "Yeah" he replied, his voice sounding faint. "Arthur we are here to help, if things get too much then talk to us" Serena said and Arthur nodded. "Yeah, thanks" he said before standing up and walking out of the office.

"What do you think?" Hanssen asked Serena after Arthur had left. "I think he's getting there, slowly" she said and Hanssen didn't quite agree. "I don't know" he said. "I think we should keep an eye on him" Hanssen said and Serena rolled her eyes. "Don't worry we will."

 **Thank you for reading, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to LudoJudo and guest for reviewing, it means so much and i hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 2:

Arthur looked at himself in the mirror as he straightened out his shirt collar. It was his first day and being honest, he was nervous. He had an appointment with Ben later on but really, Arthur didn't want to go. He didn't want to talk about his problems, he'd done enough of that before. He sighed and made his way out of his room, walking straight past the little white box of tablets Dom had left out for him.

He walked through the car park, seeming distracted from his surroundings. Walking into the hospital, Arthur avoided eye contact with anyone and walked to AAU. As he walked through the corridor, Arthur realised that he'd had nothing to eat that morning and no medication; he was gonna have to try today.

It's not that he was trying to be annoying and not take his medication, it's just the medication made him feel numb. He hated it. He was almost desperate to get back to 'normal' and he knew that medication and talking about it would not help.

"Have you got Arthur this morning?" Raf asked Fletch, as he approached the nurse at the desk. "Yeah, I've got him this morning, then you've got him this afternoon" Fletch explained and Raf nodded. "How do you think he'll be?" Raf asked and Fletch sighed. "I honestly don't know, we're just gonna have to support him."

In that moment, Arthur walked through the doors of AAU. He just kept on walking, not looking up and walking straight to the locker room. "Well, we better get this started then" Fletch said, standing up from the desk and walking with Raf.

Arthur got himself and changed and sat down on the bench. He will get through today; he has to get through today. He wondered what Raf and Fletch would say to him. He wondered who he'd be with, what he'd actually end up doing. He wondered lots of things but none of them he could answer, so he knew he had to face the music.

He walked out of the locker room and looked around, looking to where he was supposed to go. He could see Fletch walking towards him and just decided to stay put. "Alright mate?" Fletch asked as he walked up to Arthur. Arthur smiled slightly and nodded his head, he didn't feel like having a conversation with Fletch.

Fletch smiled, he knew it would be like this. Arthur and Raf had seen Arthur at his lowest points, of course it was going to be awkward. Fletch just knew he had to carry on, act normal and not make a big deal out of the situation.

"Right then, you're with me this morning and then Raf this afternoon, is that alright?" Fletch asked and Arthur nodded. Fletch noticed that he seemed distracted and looked in his line of vision. Arthur was looking at Morven and she was also looking at him.

"That's Morven" Fletch said. "She started a few weeks ago." Arthur nodded, he could tell that she was looking at him, judging him. "What's she like?" Arthur asked. "Erm, well, she likes to do things her way" Fletch explained. "Anyways, should we get started" Fletch said as he walked off with Arthur to their next patient.

The morning went alright for Arthur, he just helped Fletch by taking blood pressures and stuff like that. It got 1pm and Arthur felt weird, he didn't know whether it was because he hadn't taken his medication or because he hadn't eaten all day. He looked at the clock and realIsed he was going to work with Raf now. Great!

"You feeling alright?" Raf asked Arthur as they were getting an ECG ready. "Yeah, I'm fine" Arthur replied, sharper than he intended. "Good" Raf replied, he was going to keep an eye on Arthur, just in case.

At 2:30, Arthur looked at the clock. He was supposed to have an appointment with Ben in half an hour. He didn't want to go, in fact he wasn't going to go; he didn't see the point. He'd stopped helping Raf half an hour ago, he just didn't see the point and he didn't have the energy. He sat at the desk, his legs starting to shake, this was probably because he hadn't taken his medication. Arthur just sighed, there was nothing he could do about then.

Ben looked at his computer and saw that he had an appointment with Arthur at 3pm. He'd seem Arthur only a week ago and from what he could tell, things were going well. He was eating, taking his medication and generally seemed to be coping. He knew it was Arthur s first day back, so they'd have some stuff to talk about.

Arthur sat spinning around in the chair he was on, processing his thoughts that were flying at 100 miles per hour. He knew he could go to the appointment, but he was sick of talking. He thought that if he told Ben what was going on, he'd be discharged and everyone would just move on. Obviously, he thought wrong.

He looked at the clock; it said 2:50. He had 10 minutes to make up his mind, although Arthur was pretty sure he'd already made it up. If Ben wanted to knew where he was then Arthur would just tell him that he was caught up in work. Plus, Ben would be able to notice that Arthur hadn't taken his medication and he couldn't deal with a lecture on how important it was to take them.

So that was that then, he wasn't going to go. Arthur got up and left the desk, thinking that if Ben was going to find him then he had to look busy.

Ben looked at his clock. 3pm and Arthur still hadn't shown up. He felt like going to find him but then stopped thinking that Arthur needed and wanted independence. If he wasn't there in 10 minutes then he would go and look for him.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed and please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to , LudoJudo and Guest for reviewing, it means so much and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 3:

10 minutes passed and Ben sighed. He was praying that Arthur would turn up. Ben was just hoping that he'd forgot or been too busy working on a patient that he'd lost track of time, that's what Ben hoped. He got up from his desk and made his way out of his office.

Arthur walked over to Raf hoping to find something to do. He knew that Ben would probably come and find him so if he could look busy, then it won't seem like he deliberately forgot. "Alright Arthur?" Raf asked. "Yeah, erm have you got anything you need me to do?"

Raf smiled. "I need you to arrange some blood tests and an ECG" Raf said. "Yep okay, on to it now" Arthur said, smiling, at least he had something to do now. He walked over to the computer, first putting in the requests then be walked to the supply room and got the stuff ready.

As Ben walked through the corridors, he wasn't sure what to expect. He wasn't sure whether Arthur had deliberately forgot and then he might try to run away or put up a fight or whether he was just busy, that was always a possibility.

He was worried that if Arthur had deliberately forgot then what else was going on in his head. It wouldn't look good for Arthur, especially on his first day back. Ben just hoped that Arthur was still making progress, that he'd taken a step forwards and not back.

Walking onto AAU, Ben spotted Raf and walked over to him. "Alright Ben, what can I do for you?" Raf asked. Ben rubbed a hand over his face and head, realising that Arthur hadn't told Raf. The situation looked worse by the minute. "Erm, I had an appointment with him at 3 and he didn't turn up" Ben explained and Raf frowned.

"He didn't tell me" Raf said. "Yeah I guessed that", Ben said, "do you know where he is?" Raf nodded, "yeah he should be in the supply room getting some stuff for me." Ben nodded, "do you mind if I take him?" Ben asked. "No, no, not at all" Raf said before walking back off to his patient.

Ben walked over to the supply room and knocked on the door. It was now or never. He walked in and found Arthur searching the many shelves for what he needed. "Hi Arthur" Ben said, hoping to get some sort of reaction so he could get an idea of what's going on in Arthur's head.

Arthur took a deep breath, he couldn't let on that he'd done this deliberately. "Oh hi Ben, what can I do you for you?" Arthur asked, trying to sound relaxed as possible despite his rising heart rate.

Ben leaned against the door and smiled. He'd seen this before, people would pretend that they'd forgot but in reality they were just avoiding the situation. "Actually, we had an appointment at 3 and you didn't turn up, I just came to make sure everything was okay" Ben explained.

Arthur had to control himself, he hadn't taken his medication or eaten today and he could feel the effects. His hands started to shake, he just wanted to not talk to Ben but now it looked like that wouldn't happen. He put the tubes down and turned round, knowing he had to at least keep up his story in the hopes of convincing Ben.

Ben watched this all take place and he knew what was happening. Arthur had tried to avoid him, not wanting to talk to him for whatever reason. He knew now he'd have to push with Arthur, find what was going on in his head. "Well seeming as your not exactly busy, why don't we go down to my office now" Ben suggested, knowing he had to be the one to encourage it.

"Well, I have to get this back to Raf and help out" Arthur explained. Ben knew this would happen. Arthur sighed, his patience wearing thin, not taking the pills was a bad idea. "Its okay, I spoke to him before" Ben said, hoping Arthur would realise he wasn't getting out of this. "Fine okay then" Arthur said, putting the supplies back down and following Ben out of the supply room.

Ben smiled as Arthur walked behind him, he looked over at Raf and winked at him. He and Arthur walked out of AAU and through the corridors; every now and then Ben looking over his shoulder making sure Arthur hadn't wandered off. He knew that their next conversation was going to be uncomfortable.

"Right then, take a seat" Ben said as he and Arthur walked into his office. Arthur took a seat, trying to calm his shaky legs. "So how have you been then?" Ben asked as he sat down. He was going to start off easy with Arthur, ask him about his day, then move onto what's going on inside his head.

"I've been good" Arthur replied, trying to hide the tremble in his voice. Arthur didn't want to be there, he was supposed to put off the appointment by trying to look busy, except it didn't work. "So how was your first day back?" Ben asked, knowing this was where he would start.

Arthur nodded. "Yeah, it was alright, felt a bit weird but it was alright" Arthur said. That was sort of a lie, he hated having to work with Raf and Fletch, he just wanted everything to go back to how everything used to be. He hated the feeling of not being in control, not knowing what's going to happen; basically if he wasn't in control how was he supposed to get it right.

"Okay, are you still taking your medication?" Ben asked, hoping Arthur would tell the truth. If he wasn't Ben wouldn't be angry or disappointed, he'd just want to know why and then he'd come up with a solution to the problem. "Yeah" Arthur replied nodding his head. Another lie.

"So you were busy before then" Ben said, hoping he'd get a response from Arthur, instead he just got silence. "You know it's not uncommon for people to skip appointments, especially when they're just getting back on their feet" Ben said, now he was pushing his luck.

Arthur held back a sigh; why did Ben have to be so good at his job! He couldn't tell him the truth, of course he couldn't, more 'concern' would just be raised about him. He didn't need that now. "I didn't avoid it, I was just busy, I'm still getting back into the swing of things" Arthur lied; the third lie he had told that session.

Ben nodded, knowing he wasn't going to get further with Arthur in the frame of mind he was in. "Right well, you better get back to work then, I'll let you know when I'm free next, probably in a few days okay?" Ben said as Arthur stood up. "Yeah okay" Arthur said as he walked out of Ben's office.

Ben sighed, he'd met patients like Arthur before. It's like they wanted to recover, but they were so scared that things were going to change they tried to keep things the same without you knowing. Of course sooner or later they would crack, Ben just hoped they could through to Arthur before it got that far.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed and sorry for the delay in updating I had to revise for a maths test I forgot about :) and remember to review :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to Tenfangirl, LudoJudo and for reviewing, it means so much that you enjoy this story :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 4:

Arthur arrived back on AAU, ignoring the fact that Raf and Morven were both staring at him as he walked in. He walked on, not looking over to them, he went back to the office and sat down, he just couldn't be bothered.

He thought about Ben and how he was questioning what Arthur had been doing. Did he not believe him or something? All Arthur wanted was to get back to work and forget about everything that had happened and just move on. But he couldn't.

He had no energy today, he hadn't eaten and he was starting to lose the act that he put on to hide the fact that he hadn't taken his medication. He wondered if anyone would find out, what would they do? He'd probably lose his job, and probably be admitted into an inpatient hospital.

There was something about Morven that got to him as well, she hadn't said anything to him; it was just the looks that she gave him. Arthur was nervous about working with her, she seemed to know what she was doing everything second of the day and never made mistakes or not any of it wrong. It's like every move she made, she couldn't get it wrong.

Arthur sighed and looked at the clock; he had half an hour left of his shift but then that didn't mean half an hour until he could be alone, it meant half an hour before Dom would come and get him to go home with him. Then he would have to face Zosia and Dom. Things just seemed to be that way.

He looked out of the office window, seeing if anyone needed any help; it didn't look like it. He watched Morven, she seemed to be doing alright, she knew what she was doing. Arthur just feared the day he would have to work with her.

Half an hour later Arthur thought he was about to die from boredom. He had nothing to do apart from spin around on a chair in the office. He decided not to watch what was going on outside, he'd done enough of that when he was staying in hospital, he didn't want to do it again.

A few minutes later Dom arrived on AAU. Arthur slept up from the chair and walked out to meet him. "Alright?" Dom asked. "Yeah, I'm just going to go and get changed" Arthur said, before walking off in the direction of the locker room.

Arthur got himself changed and then went back out to meet Dom. "All sorted then?" Dom asked. Arthur nodded and the pair walked out of AAU and out into the hospital corridor. "How was today then?" Dom asked, not liking the silence they were walking in. "It was alright yeah, just like old times" Arthur said, hoping to keep Dom sweet.

"That's good then" Dom said, not quite knowing what to say next. "What do you wanna get for tea?" Dom asked, trying to change the subject. "I don't know" Arthur replied. The truth be told, he didn't know what he wanted and he wasn't hungry. He hadn't eaten all day he really didn't feel like food. He also hadn't had his medication so he'd have to keep him cool.

"You know what Dom, I'm not really that hungry" Arthur confessed, hoping Dom would listen and say no more on the subject. "Ah come on, we could just grab a takeaway" Dom suggested and Arthur sighed inside; this is exactly what he didn't want to happen.

"No, I just don't really feel like food" Arthur said casually, if he let his guard down then Dom would notice that something was up and he wouldn't stop until he found out what. "Why don't we grab a pizza" Dom suggested again and Arthur sighed, taking a deep breath and clenching his fists.

"I've already told you I'm not hungry, you can get a pizza if you want!" Arthur snapped, unintentionally. He'd blew it now, Dom was going to find out, then so was Ben, then Serena would which means he would get the sack and mess his entire life and make his parents disappointed.

Wait. Why was he thinking about his parents? Arthur felt the panic rise in his chest, why did this have to happen now? He took deep breaths and cleared his mind the last thing he needed was a panic attack, they weren't even out of the hospital yet. No don't think that, he knew what would happen if he did have a panic attack; Ben.

"Arthur, Arthur take deep breaths" Dom said as he tried to help his friend. He'd noticed Arthur had started breathing funny and stopped walking so he knew what he was dealing with; a panic attack. Although hadn't had one in ages Dom thought, he'd have to speak to him later.

Arthur tried to breathe normally and after a few attempts it started to work he regained his normal breathing. As he looked around he was met with Dom, his eyes filled with worry. "You alright?" Dom asked. Arthur nodded but didn't say anything, too relieved that a full blown panic attack had been averted. "Let's get home" Dom said, putting his arm around Arthur's shoulder as they walked out of the hospital.

Dom had ordered pizza for Zosia and himself, Arthur still claiming that he wasn't hungry. Dom however, still ordered some potato wedges as a side dish, just in case Arthur got hungry. "So how was your first day back?" Zosia asked, she hadn't seen Arthur all day and was intrigued to know how things went; she still didn't know about the near panic attack though.

"It went fine" Arthur replied, trying to hide his annoyance. Nobody seemed to want to know how he felt it was always, how was your first day back. If he was being honest, Arthur had hated it and he knew for a fact he would hate work for as long as he had to keep working with Raf and Fletch.

It's not that he didn't like them, no they were perfectly decent people, it's just they did things differently to Arthur. They never actually checked if what they were doing was right and if they made a mistake acted like it was nothing, when it obviously wasn't nothing.

The logical part of Arthur's mind knew this was the lack of medication talking. The whole 'didn't check if they were doing it right', because they would have checked just not like Arthur. At this moment in time Arthur just wanted to crawl into a ball and forget that any of this had ever happened, unfortunately he couldn't.

"Diggers, are you sure you don't want any food?" Dom asked, braking him from his thoughts. "No, I'm alright, I'm gonna head off to my room" Arthur before standing up and leaving.

Dom sighed, something was definitely wrong with Arthur. For starters he'd had a panic attack just from talking about food, although Dom had no idea what was going through his head so it could have been for a completely different reason, then he refuses to eat and he just doesn't seem like himself.

"What's on your mind?" Zosia asked. "What?" Dom asked, sounding slightly surprised. "What are you thinking about, you're thing about something as you've got your thinking face on" Zosia explained. "Arthur" Dom replied bluntly. "What about him?" Zosia asked, wanting to know why Dom sounded concerned.

"Have you not noticed something?" Dom asked. Zosia shook her head. "I haven't seen him all day, remember." Dom nodded and sighed. "He just didn't seem himself and I know he's going through a rough patch so maybe he was having a bad day, but he just doesn't seem himself. Especially after what happened at the hospital."

Zosia frowned, what happened at the hospital? "What happened?" She asked and Dom realised he'd never told her. "He had a near panic attack as I started to talk about what we were going to have for tea" Dom explained. "Although I'm not sure what was going through his head, I'm just worried about it him."

Zosia nodded, she understood where Dom was coming from. "We just to be there for him, and if he does get worse we can tell Dr. Harding. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to help him" Zosia said and Dom smiled, maybe that plan might work.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed and remember to review! :) Also I just to apologise for the delay in updating, I've had such a busy Easter but hopefully I'll be able to get back on track :)**

 **Also, Holby city at the moment is breaking my heart with Arthur's storyline, although I love how protective Dom's being :)**

 **Anyways, see you next chapter :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to LudoJudo and for reviewing, it means a lot and I'm glad you're enjoying this story :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 5:

The next day Arthur was not in a good mood. Dom had made him eat something that morning as he thought Arthur wasn't eating enough. This had annoyed Arthur; he wanted to be in control. Luckily though, he'd managed to get away with not taking his medication, again.

He sighed and spun round on his chair in the office, if he remembered rightly he was waiting for Fletch. The sensible part of his brain knew that the reason Arthur felt so irritable and fidgety was because he hadn't taken his medication but the other part of his brain didn't care, he was in control; he would get things right.

"Morning" Fletch said cheerfully as he walked into the office. "Morning" Arthur replied, not sounding as enthusiastic. "You alright?" Fletch asked. Arthur had to hold back to scream he had inside of him. Was he alright? Was he alright? Well, his life is being taken away from him, he's losing control and isn't even trusted to do his own job. Do you call that alright?

Arthur sighed. "I'm fine, just wanna get started" Arthur said and Fletch smilied, Arthur never really changed. "Well that's good cos me and you got a patient coming up from the ED so we're gonna be busy" Fletch said. No, you're going to be busy, I'm just going to stand around and watch. Arthur thought to himself.

Fletch stood there and watched Arthur fidget in his chair. Fletch couldn't believe how far he had come, and even though he still didn't know the true extent of Arthur's disorder he knew about it and he'd been informed on how it was affecting Arthur. He'd been told it was something to do with control but Fletch knew better than to ask.

"Fletch, your patient's here" Serena informed them, pulling Fletch from his thoughts. "Right come on then you" Fletch said to Arthur as he walked out the office, Arthur getting up to follow him.

"Right then what have we got?" Fletch asked as the patient was wheeled through AAU. "This is Billy Hall, 52, he fell from a ladder, his heart rate is 120, tachycardia, his leg is broken, ED have put a splint on it, he has a cut on his head that will need stitches and he's complaining of back pain" the nurse informed them. "Right, can you take him over to bed 8 please" Fletch requested.

Arthur stood there processing all of the information. He was going to need stitches, so he needed to see how deep and wide the cut was. He was complaining of back pain, so they would definitely need to look into that to make sure they'd covered everything.

"You ready to go?" Fletch asked, noticing that Arthur was obviously thinking about something. Arthur groaned inside, Fletch had just interrupted his thoughts; not a good idea. He couldn't flip out through, that would just cause a scene and people to get worried. "Yep" Arthur replied, following Fletch over to where the patient was.

"Right then, Billy, my name is Nurse Fletcher and this is Dr. Digby, we're gonna be treating you today" Fletch informed the man who just grunted in return. "Right then, diggers, can you get me a slot for x-ray and CT ready for this gentleman?" Fletch asked Arthur.

Arthur nodded and walked away but stopped when he got down to the desk. A CT Scan? An X-Ray? The man had tachycardia, he needed to be treated for his heart; the thing that if it stopped, he would die. Were they even doing anything for his heart?

Arthur hadn't noticed but his breathing had quickly picked up, he put his hands down on the desk and took some deep breaths. Thankfully they worked and Arthur was calm again (as calm as he could be). He'd just have to keep an eye on what Fletch was doing; after all he was a doctor too.

"Are they ready?" Fletch asked as Arthur walked back over. "They'll be about 10 minutes" Arthur replied. The truth was he had no idea how long they would be. Wait. Did he even book them? Before Arthur had time to do anything, Fletch was setting him off on his next task.

"Can you get me the things I'll need for stitches?" Fletch asked. "Erm yeah" Arthur replied before slowly walking off in the direction of the supply room. Fletch watched Arthur walk away and sighed; he'd noticed something was up with him when he had came back over.

"Fletch, Fletch." Fletch blinked as he was broken out of his thoights, as he turned around he was face to face with Morven. "Yes?" Fletch asked. "Do you need a hand?" Morven asked. "No, we're alright" Fletch informed her. As much he could probably use an extra pair of hands, he was wasn't going to ask as Arthur didn't know her; he'd probably ask someone like Fletch if he needed anyone.

"Are you sure?" Morven asked. "Yep, we're just fine here" Fletch smiled and got back to work. "Isn't he supposed to be in CT?" Morven asked. Fletch sighed, this is not how he had planned today to go; if Arthur came now. Speaking of Arthur, where was he? "Look Morven we're fine over here, if we need you I'll be sure to let you know" Fletch said and with that she walked away.

Raf had noticed Fletch and Morven and decided to go over to see if he could help. "Everything alright?" Raf asked Fletch, who looked stressed. "Yeah, yeah, just Morven being a bit over confident, you know" Fletch replied. Raf smiled, but then he noticed someone was missing.

"Where's Arthur?" Raf asked. Fletch sighed, in all the chaos and Morven's backchat he'd forgotten about Arthur. "I sent him to get some stuff for stitches but he hasn't came back and then he's supposed to be in CT, but they haven't called for us" Fletch explained and Raf nodded, taking in the information.

"Right you just go and find Arthur, I'll stay here and chase up that CT" Raf explained to Fletch who nodded before walking away to find Arthur. "Need any help?" Morven asked from across the ward. "We're fine thanks" Raf replied, he smiled as well, knowing it would relieve any tension.

Fletch made his way over to the supply room, hoping to find Arthur. He knew that if something had happened he'd have no choice but to speak to Serena, for Arthur's benefit more than anything. He'd noticed that something had been up earlier on but hadn't wanted to say anything in case it caused an unnecessary argument. He reached the supply room and knocked on the door, before walking in.

He spotted Arthur just staring the shelf. He walked up behind him to see if he was staring at anything in particular; he wasn't.

"Arthur, you alright?" Fletch asked, although he immediately cursed himself for asking that. It was like the worst thing to ask!

Arthur didn't reply, he just kept staring at the shelf in front of him. Once again he'd risked a patient's life; he'd been to wrapped up in his own thoughts that he'd forgot to book the CT and X-Ray. Once again he'd got it wrong; how many more times was he going to get it wrong?

Fletch could feel that there was something on Arthur's mind. "Do you wanna go back to the ward and sit down?" Fletch asked, hoping Arthur would say yes and then they could this all sorted out.

Arthur nodded and Fletch let out a sigh of relief. He put his hand on Arthur's shoulder to lead him back to the ward. As they walked back on to the ward, Raf looked as at Fletch as he lead to the office. Fletch shook his head but gestured for Raf to follow him; he was going to need a familiar face if he was going to get through to Arthur.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed and remember to review :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to LudoJudo and for reviewing, it means so much :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 6:

Arthur sat down on the same chair in the office, his legs beginning to shake. What had he done? He needed to check on the patient, make sure he was alright; make sure nothing had happened to him. Arthur just couldn't believe what he had done.

"Did you chase up that CT?" Fletch asked Raf as they stood outside the office. Raf sighed. "Yeah, but it turns out Arthur hadn't booked the CT or the X-Ray" Raf explained. Fletch sighed, what were they supposed to do now? "What are we going to do now then?" Fletch asked.

"Well looking at him, I say we keep an eye on him, don't let him work, inform Serena, get Dom and possibly Dr. Harding down here if he gets worse" Raf said and Fletch nodded, understanding his instructions. "Do you want me to stay with him?" Fletch asked.

"I don't know" Raf said, he was running out of ideas. "How about we both go and speak to him, then whoever he responds better to can keep an eye on him" Raf suggested. "Yeah alright then" Fletch replied, satisfied with Raf's suggestion.

Fletch and Raf walked into the office and looked at Arthur; they could see that he looked ill, or nervous. Fletch and Raf both looked at each other, both urging each other speak. They could see through the window that while Morven was working, she sneaking glances their way. Fletch decided to close the blinds, for Arthur's benefit.

Fletch decided that he should try and talk to him, then if it didn't work, he could go and inform Serena, then if Raf couldn't get through to him then they'd get Dom. Fletch sat down in the chair next to Arthur and looked into his eyes, Arthur on the other hand didn't look back.

"Arthur?" Fletch said, although it was more of a question. "Arthur can you talk to me please?" Fletch asked again. When Arthur didn't reply Fletch looked up at Raf and sighed. Raf nodded his head towards the door, signalling for Fletch to go and get Dom or Serena. Fletch nodded and got open and left.

Raf took Fletch's place on the chair and looked at Arthur. He noticed that he was shaking and Raf prepared himself to have to deal with a panic attack. He watched Arthur let out a shaky breath and put his hands over his face.

Fletch hurriedly made his way over to Keller, not wanting to waste anymore time. He walked on to Keller and his eyes scanned the room for Dom; he found him looking at the computer. "Fletch?" Dom asked as he saw Fletch approach him.

"Yeah, is there a chance you can come down to AAU?" Fletch asked. Dom frowned. "Why?" He asked, but he couldn't help but worry about Arthur. "I think you're needed; for Arthur" Fletch said.

That was all it took for Dom to get up from where he was sitting. He raced through Keller, Fletch hot on his heels, ignoring the calls from Sacha. Once they were out in the corridor, Dom asked Fletch what was going on.

"So what's actually happened?" Dom asked, he'd noticed something had been off with him. "I'm not entirely sure. It seems he didn't book the CT and X-Ray and then I found him in the supply room, a bit out of it" Fletch explained and Dom sighed.

"Anything else?' Dom asked, knowing that it wasn't always that straight forward with Arthur. "We've brought him back to the office, tried to talk to him but we couldn't really get through. I've left Raf with him" Fletch explained. "Oh Arthur what have you done" Dom muttered.

"What's going on with you?" Raf asked. Arthur shrugged his shoulders and this caught Raf's attention; Arthur had responded to him. "What happened today?" Raf asked. "Don't know" Arthur replied bluntly. Raf smiled slightly, at least Arthur was talking to him. He'd noticed that Arthur had stopped shaking and was now just still. Before Raf had a chance to say something, Dom and Fletch arrived.

"What happened?" Dom asked as he walked in and knelt down in front of Arthur. Arthur turned his head away from Dom and once again, his legs started to shake. Dom looked to Raf who shook his head and then to Fletch who just shrugged.

"Is it about that patient from earlier?" Dom asked. Arthur's head snapped up and Dom knew he'd hit a nerve. He felt Arthur tremble even more and knew he had to stay calm. "It's alright' Dom said, rubbing his hand over Arthur's knee.

Fletch looked to Raf who nodded and that was the indication to go and inform Serena. Fletch left which just left Arthur, Dom and Raf together. "You didn't do anything" Dom said, trying to persuade his best friend. It was like he could sense a panic attack coming.

He didn't do anything. He didn't do anything! He'd just put a patient's life at risk. He forgot to book the CT and X-Ray. He'd got it wrong; again, he'd screwed up and yet again other people faced the consequences.

"Yes I did!" Arthur exclaimed as he stood up, startling Raf and Dom. Arthur started pacing up and down in the office, all of the panic, fear and anxiety taking over him. "It was me. I forgot to book it and then he could be in more pain and then someone else got it and then I messed up and then he might-" Arthur would have continued rambling but he was cut off by Dom.

"Arthur stop!" Dom shouted, trying to calm his friend down. "No" Arthur said, shaking his head. "Yes" Dom said, this situation was worrying him. "Arthur, why don't you sit down" Raf suggested, really at a loss. "No' Arthur said, still pacing and his body trembling. Dom looked at Raf, but neither of them knew what to do.

Fletch knocked on the door to Serena's office and heard her call for someone to enter. "You got a minute?" Fletch asked and Serena frowned. "Yes" she replied, not quite knowing where the conversation was going. "Erm, Arthur's not having a great a day" Fletch said hoping she'd be able to figure it out from that.

Serena sighed, she had a feeling that something like this would happen, she just prayed that it wouldn't. "Where is he?" She asked. "He's in the office on AAU" Fletch replied. "Right who's with him?" Serena asked. "Raf and Dom."

"What Dom as in Dr. Copeland from Keller?" Serena askex, hoping that they hadn't dragged another doctor into it. "Yep" Fletch replied and he could sense her frustration. "Right, let's go then" Serena said, getting up from her desk and following Fletch out of the office.

"It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault" Arthur repeated over and over. Dom and Raf just stood there, watching their friend. Dom sighed, he should have noticed something was up sooner, after all he did live with him. "Arthur, just take a deep breath" Dom suggested, he wasn't going to admit it but this was slightly scoring him.

Fletch and Serena made their way to where Arthur was, Fletch explaining everything to everything to Serena. Serena sighed, the more Fletch told her, the more she knew how this was going to be bad for Arthur.

They make it to the office and instantly Serena knows what to do. "Fletch can you go and get Dr. Harding?' Serena asked and Fletch frowned. "Dr. Harding?" He asked. "Yes just go and get him please" Serena said and Fletch left.

She walked into the office, taking into account that Arthur didn't seem to register her presence. "Dr. Harding's on his way, you can get back to work if you want" Serena told Raf who looked to her to ask if it was alright and she nodded. Raf patted Dom's shoulder before leaving the room.

Fletch rushed through the hospital, trying to get to Ben's office as fast as he could. "Ben, you're needed" Fletch said as he burst into the office. "Why?" Ben asked. "Arthur" Fletch said and that's all it took for Ben to get up from his desk and follow Fletch out the room.

Dom was leaning against the wall waiting for Arthur to calm his panic down. It wasn't working though and they'd been like this for at least 10 minutes maybe more. Down the corridor, Dom could hear someone talking to Fletch and he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was Ben.

"Arthur?" Ben asked as he walked into the room. Arthur didn't respond and Ben knew that he and Arthur needed to be alone. "Is it alright if you lot can go and wait somewhere else, I need to speak to Arthur" Ben said and the three that were in the room reluctantly left.

Ben sat down on one of the chairs and waited for Arthur to calm down. It took some time but eventually Arthur calmed enough to sit down. "Now, I know for a fact that you don't want to talk about what happened but trust me it's for the best" Ben said and he watched as Arthur closed himself off.

Arthur didn't want to talk about what had happened, he was embarrassed enough as it is. Everyone who he didn't want to see had seen. "What happened?" Ben asked, hoping to get through the actual events first. "What's going through your head?" Ben asked.

"Guilt" Arthur said from behind his hand. Ben smiled, this was progress. "Why do you feel guilty?" Ben asked. "I don't want to be here" Arthur said. "I know but you need to talk to me" Ben said. Arthur sighed. "I feel guilty because it's my fault" Arthur said.

"What's your fault?" Ben asked, knowing he was getting further than he thought he would. "Why that man died" Arthur said, once again his legs began to tremble. "Arthur that man didn't die, in fact he's perfectly fine" Ben said and now he could see why Arthur had got so worked up.

In his head, his biggest fear is making mistakes and getting it wrong and in his head today, that's exactly what he did. Ben knew though that someone who was on medication and seeing a professional isn't likely to get this worked up and that concerned him.

"Are you taking your medication?" Ben asked. Arthur nodded automatically, he didn't even hear the question. "Okay, I think we need to do something about this and I've got an idea. Are you willing to hear it?" Arthur nodded.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed and sorry for any mistakes and as always feel free to review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much to Guest, LudoJudo, Tenfangirl and for reviewing, I love reading them! :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 7:

Ben had managed to convince Arthur to come to his office, knowing he'd be able to talk properly. He also knew that Arthur would probably relax more in and environment that wasn't on the ward.

"Take a seat" Ben said. Arthur took a seat on one of the usual chairs, while Ben took seat at his desk. "So that idea I was telling you about" Ben started. Arthur nodded, at this moment though he was past caring what Ben had to say, he just wanted to get out of the hospital that today ever happened.

"How would you feel about transferring to Keller?" Arthur's head snapped up and looked at Ben. Was he serious? Why would Arthur survive better on Keller? Would he hurt someone? Would he hurt himself? How would he feel about moving back to Keller?

"Erm I don't know" Arthur replied. He really didn't want to have this conversation. Ben looked at Arthur, searching his face for any clues about how Arthur was feeling. "Well okay then, are you happy about the idea of moving to Keller?" Ben asked, trying a different approach.

Arthur sighed. Was he happy about that idea? Was he happy on AAU? You see the thing is, Arthur didn't care about whether he felt happy or sad. That didn't bother him. He'd leaving AAU, which meant that he'd be leaving Fletch, Raf and Serena.

Ben watched Arthur, not in a way to make him feel uncomfortable, but in a way that meant he could try and see what Arthur was feeling. Ben knew that this was big decision, well for Arthur it was. He could see that he was clearly thinking about it or worrying about it, but then it dawned on him.

He was asking Arthur to make the decision. To make the decision on whether he should leave AAU or not, and leaving AAU meant leaving Fletch, Raf and Serena; Ben knew what that meant for Arthur. "How do you feel about possibly leaving AAU?" Ben asked, knowing he had to get confirmation from Arthur.

Arthur looked down at the floor, he knew Ben had figured out what he was feeling. He was feeling guilty about leaving AAU, he felt like he'd let them down, he wasn't good enough to survive on AAU.

"Arthur?" Ben questioned. He knew now by the look on Arthur's face that he had guessed correctly, but there was nothing he could do unless Arthur admitted it for himself. "I don't know" Arthur said and Ben smiled lightly. So Arthur was on one of those 'ignore the problem and it will go away' streaks; Ben knew it either wouldn't last or they would be there for a while.

"Arthur, we're not going anywhere until you talk to me" Ben said, he knew it probably sounded harsh but he needed to push Arthur in the right direction. Arthur ran his hand through his hair, he knew now he had to talk.

"I don't know, i guess I feel guilty about leaving them' Arthur said, looking down at the floor. Ben nodded, knowing he was getting somewhere. "Do you feel like you've let them down?" Ben asked, careful on how far he pushed the subject. Arthur nodded and that was all Ben needed.

"I can tell you now Arthur, that they won't be mad or angry, fair enough they might be a bit sad that you're leaving, but no one will feel that you've let them down" Ben reassured, hoping that Arthur was listening to him.

Arthur nodded, but kept looking down at the floor. "So do you want to move to Keller because I can go and speak to Serena now" Ben said. Again Arthur nodded, still looking down at the floor.

"Right, tomorrow you have a check up with Dr. Parkhill" Ben said, reminding Arthur of the thing he had consciously forgotten about. "Yeah okay" Arthur said. "So if you go home now, with Dom, I'll see you tomorrow" Ben said, more for Arthur's benefit than his. "Okay" Arthur said, getting up and leaving the room. "Remember your medication!" Ben called, but Arthur didn't respond.

 _The next day_

Arthur sat at the kitchen table, nursing his cup of coffee. Dom and Zosia had already left for work, which meant that it was down to Arthur to get himself to the hospital for his appointment; no doubt Dom would check he turned up.

He looked at the clock, knowing he had to go and get ready if he didn't want to be late. He finished his cup of coffee before looking at the medication on the side. Should he take it today? Would he be able to survive? He looked at it and sighed, Ben would probably be able to tell if he hadn't taken it; Dr. Parkhill definitely would.

He walked over to the sink and filled his now empty coffee mug with water. He grabbed the box of pills, opening it and staring at the pack. With shaky hands he popped out one tablet, then taking the mug in his other hand, he took a deep breath.

He put the pill in his mouth and then took a mouthful of water. He swallowed and then leaned against the counter, trying to steady his breathing. He quickly packed away the pils and put the mug in the sink, he decided to try and forget what he'd done and just get on with his day.

Arthur outside in the corridor waiting to be called, watching the people pass by. He didn't know why he was so nervous, he'd taken his medication and he was still the same. What was the point in taking it anyway?

"Morning Arthur, you ready?" Dr. Parkhill asked as he walked out of his office. Arthur nodded, before standing up and walking into the office. He took a seat opposite Dr. Parkhill and he noticed that Ben wasn't in the room with them, which for some reason made him feel slightly nervous.

"So how have you been then, Arthur?" Dr. Parkhill asked. "Fine" Arthur said. "Care to elaborate?" Dr. Parkhill asked, and this is why Arthur hated him. He didn't say anything, he just looked down at the floor.

"How have you been managing your anxiety?" Dr. Parkhill asked. Arthur hated him when he did this, well he hated him all the time but this a speciality. He knew he was talking about what happened what yesterday but he wanted Arthur to say it. "Its been alright" Arthur replied, shrugging.

"Are you sure?" Dr. Parkhill asked again. "Yep, I mean I have good days and bad days but apart from that, it's alright" Arthur explained, hoping that was enough to change the subject from yesterday; he felt bad enough already.

Dr. Parkhill nodded, but he jotted something down about how Arthur was avoiding the question. "Dr. Harding asked me to tell you that your move onto Keller was successful" Dr. Parkhill said.

Arthur nodded, not really sure how he felt about it. "How do you feel about going back to Keller?" Dr. Parkhill asked, knowing Ben had asked yesterday but didn't get much of an answer, maybe he could.

Arthur should have seen that coming. Honestly, Arthur couldn't really care, he didn't even see why he was sitting in this room with Dr. Parkhill. If he was to tell him how he really felt, they'd be sitting there for hours so Arthur decided to keep it simple.

"I'm feeling alright about it, a change will do me good" Arthur said and Dr. Parkhill seemed satisfied with his answer.

"Right well I have nothing more to say, so myself and Dr. Harding have decided that you will only need to see me once a month and Dr. Harding once a week, however more than that if necessary" Dr. Parkhill explained, Arthur was just happy that this seemed to be the end.

"Is that alright with you?" Dr. Parkhill asked. "Yep" Arthur said, getting up to leave the room if Dr. Parkhill had nothing else to say. Luckily for Arthur he didn't, so he left and made his way out of the hospital heading back home.

When he got home, Arthur realised that Dom and Zosia were both home. "Hey, do you want something to eat?" Dom asked as Arthur walked in. "No, I'm alright, I'm just going to go to bed" Arthur said before walking into his room. Dom looked at Zosia on the sofa, she just shrugged and went back to watching the t.v..

Arthur laid down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He thought about anything and everything, but not thinking about tomorrow. Why was he so nervous? It's not like anything bad was going to happen. That's what Arthur just had to keep on telling himself.

 **Thank you for reading, I apologise for the delay I've just been super busy recently, please review I'd love to know what you think :)**

 **Also holby city has just broken my heart, Arthur's only got months to live!**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you to LudoJudo, and Tenfangirl for reviewing, it means so much and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 8:

"Do you want anything for breakfast?" Dom asked as Arthur finally emerged from his room the next morning. "No, I'm not hungry" Arthur sat as he sat down on the sofa. Dom sighed from where he was in the kitchen and leaned back against the counter.

Why wasn't Arthur eating? It was starting to worry him now. Was he eating at work? Was he eating after work? Did he just not like Dom's cooking- offensive. Dom supposed he would find out sooner or later seeming as they were both working on the same ward.

"First day back at Keller today then" Dom said, trying to start a conversation with Arthur. "Your point being?" Arthur asked, yawning. Dom cringed, obviously that was not how the conversation starter was supposed to work.

"Well you know, it'll be nice being back won't it" Dom said. "I guess" Arthur said, sounding more and more confused. "What time's your shift?" Dom asked. "Starts at 9" Arthur said. Dom smiled, that was the same time as him which meant he could make sure that Arthur was alright.

"I'm going to go and get ready" Arthur said, standing up from the sofa and walking back into his room. That left Dom to his thoughts; he was worried about Arthur, wasn't everyone though. His friend just wasn't the person who Dom has became friends with. Dom sighed, putting his empty cup of coffee in the sink, deciding that he too should go and get ready.

Arthur and Dom both arrived at the hospital on time for their shifts. They'd barely really talked to each other in the car, although Dom could feel the radiation coming off Arthur. "I think Sacha wants to talk to you this morning as well" Dom said, trying not to kill the mood.

Arthur sighed, this was the last thing he needed. Everyone was on his case, all he wanted was to get on with his job and his life. He didn't want to have to talk with Sacha, he dined see the point of it. He was just going to tell what Arthur had heard many times before.

"You ready the then?" Dom asked, getting ready to get out of the car. "Suppose I better be" Arthur said, he himself getting ready to get of the car. Dom smiled, there was a hint of the Arthur he knew in that sentence.

The two of them walked through the hospital, Arthur avoided everyone's gaze, feeling like they were staring at him. Arthur told himself he was just behind paranoid, he always did. He felt like everyone was judging him, or getting ready to catch him when he fell.

Before Arthur knew it, he was all ready, in his new Keller uniform even thought it felt like his old one. He knew that Sacha would want a word with him, maybe to talk about what had happened Arthur didn't know, hopefully it was just another one of his welcome back talks.

"You ready then?" Dom asked after he'd finished getting changed. "Yeah" Arthur replied. It was then that Arthur realised he'd forgot to take his medication. This was not good. As much as he hated taking it, a part of him knew he needed it. The only problem was is that the other part of him didn't think he needed it.

It was like a constant battle in his head. One side told him to take his medication, to listen to what the doctor were saying and not be afraid to ask for help. Whereas the other side told him he didn't need it, every time he did something that side would tell him that he'd done it wrong or that it wasn't right and he had to go back and check.

"Arthur?" Dom questioned. "Yeah?" Arthur asked. "I asked if you were ready" Dom said. "Yeah, come on let's go" Arthur said, walking out the locker room with Dom following closely behind.

"Right then so where do you want us first?" Dom asked, as he and Arthur arrived at the nurses station. "Right then Dom, I have a patient over in bed 3 here's her file and erm Arthur, could you come with me?" Sacha asked. Dom had one last glance at Arthur before he took the file and left Arthur.

"You wanna come this way" Sacha said and began walking in the direction of his office, with a Arthur following behind. He noticed that Sacha was using his calm but stern tone and braced himself for what was about to happen.

"Take a seat' Sacha said as they walked into the office and sat down around the table. "Now look, I know that things for you in the past few months haven't been easy and I know that AAU hasn't really worked out the way we thought it would" Sacha said, making Arthur cringe.

"But you're on Keller now and things are going to be different. Anything that has happened we're just going to forget about it and move on, it's a clean slate" Sacha said. Arthur just there and nodded, slightly happy that Sacha was basically saying they were going to forget about everything that had happened.

"Are you alright Arthur, honestly?" Sacha asked, his concern for the young doctor obvious. "I'm fine" Arthur said, knowing that now days that seemed to be his automatic response whenever anyone asked him a question.

"You think you've made the right decision coming back to Keller?" Sacha asked. This time Arthur didn't nod, he sat there and thought about. Was it really the right decision? He didn't know. "Yeah" Arthur said, knowing it was easier that explaining his true doubts.

"Good, because I expect great things" Sacha said smiling. He took Arthur a second to actually understand that this was a joke and that Sacha was actually joking. "You ready to get started then?" Sacha asked.

Dom has watched Arthur all morning, even though he'd tries to be discreet about it, he knew he wasn't. He'd been stuck with the same patient all morning and Arthur had been on the other side of Keller, helping out Sacha.

He noticed that now Arthur was on his lunch break. However Arthur wasn't eating. Dom sighed, Arthur didn't seem to be eating at all. He wondered who he could talk too, not Sacha but maybe someone from AAU.

"Hey Fletch can I talk to you?" Dom asked. "Erm yeah sure" Fletch said, pulling Dom over to one side. "What's up?" Fletch asked. "It's about Arthur" Dom said and he could see immediately Fletch's eyes full of worry.

"I don't think he's eating" Dom said. Fletch sighed, why couldn't Arthur just catch a break? "I mean I haven't seen him at home in days and not to mention the medication" Dom said. "What about the medication?" Fletch asked, his tone urgent.

"I don't know" Dom said, sounding completely lost. "Do you want me to talk to him?" Fletch asked. Dom nodded, thinking it could be the last attempt before they spoke to Ben.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **And of course I'm going to talk about Holby city! Last night's episode broke my heart, I didn't think he would die so soon, still hasn't quite sunk in we won't be seeing his face around Holby :( ,although I did love the send off they gave him, sure I wasn't the only one who for excited when Ethan made an appearance :D**

 **Anyways, see you next chapter :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to and LudoJudo for reviewing, I love hearing your feedback :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights got to the BBC**

Chapter 9:

Fletch wondered down the corridor, thinking about what he could say to Arthur. The worst part was that Fletch had a horrible feeling something like this would happen, that Arthur would take steps backwards instead of forwards.

He went back to AAU and sat down, knowing he couldn't just get up and leave during his shift so he'd have to wait until he was on a break. Arthur was worrying him, just like he was worrying most people around him.

Fletch knew from the minute Arthur came back that he wasn't himself, he could see it. He was constantly on edge, panicking that something bad was going to happen or that something was going to go wrong. Fletch was going to say something but he decided not to, looking back on it now he wished he had said something.

"Fletch mate, you alright?" Raf asked, breaking Fletch's train of thought. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking" Fletch replied. "Okay" Raf said, taking that as he queue to leave. Fletch looked at the clock, he had five minutes until his break but he decided that five minutes wasn't important so he went off to find Arthur.

Fletch decided that the easiest way to find Arthur would be to make his down to Keller and hope that he might spot him somewhere. So Fletch began to make his down the corridor, hoping his plan would work.

He reached the end of the corridor and turned the corner, thinking about what he could say to Arthur. Could he mention that Dom told him or would that make things worse? He could just say that he was concerned about him. Although Fletch knew that wouldn't sit well with Arthur.

Fletch made his way further down the corridor, getting closer and closer to Keller. He wondered if Arthur was enjoying his time back on Keller, if it was any different to AAU, or whether Arthur really was too far gone to catch.

No, he shouldn't think like that. He couldn't think like that. Arthur was his friend, he couldn't and wouldn't give up on him. As Fletch broke himself out of his thoughts, he realised that Arthur was standing at the end of the corridor staring out the corridor.

Fletch continued walking down the corridor, but he didn't speed up knowing that it was best to approach calmly. He walked over and stood next to Arthur, looking at his face but it seemed like Arthur hadn't registered his presence.

"I've never liked this car park" Fletch stated as he and Arthur watched cars driving round, trying to find spaces. Arthur just continued to stare and Fletch frowned. "So how's Keller treating you then?" Fletch asked, he turned round to lean against the windowsill so he could look at Arthur.

"Keller's fine" Arthur replied without looking at Fletch. At least Arthur replied, Fletch would take that as a good thing. "So how are you then?" Fletch asked, knowing that this one was pushing some boundaries. "I'm fine" Arthur said, still not looking at Fletch and choosing to stare out the window.

Fletch knew that he wasn't going to get anymore out of Arthur, so he just decided to go for it. "How have you been eating?" Fletch asked. In thag moment Arthur's head snapped up and turned to face Fletch.

Fletch could see the confused and fear in Arthur's eyes and he knew he'd struck a nerve. "What?" Arthur asked. "How have you been eating?" Fletch repeated. "Have you been eating well?"

Arthur paused before answering. Someone had been speaking to Fletch, he could tell. But who could have told him? Then Arthur realised, it was Dom; of course it Dom. "I've been eating fine" Arthur replied, starting to sound irritated.

"Are you sure?" Fletch asked. "It's okay if you're struggling" he added. Arthur sighed, it was only his first day back. Why couldn't people just leave him alone! "I'm not struggling!" Arthur said with more force than intended.

"Alright" Fletch said, holding his hands up. "We're just worried about ya" Fletch said. "We're?" Arthur questioned. "Everyone is worried about you" Fletch said, trying not to give away that it was Dom.

"Well you don't need to be" Arthur replied, becoming more and more annoyed. "I think we do. It's obvious you're not eating, it's obvious that there's something else going on" Fletch said. Arthur sighed.

"There is nothing going on" Arthur said. Fletch knew he was running into a brick wall and very soon he was going to hit it. "Arthur look at me" Fletch said. Arthur looked into Fletch's eyes. "It's okay if you're finding it hard to cope. No one is going to be angry" Fletch reassured.

"I'm not finding it hard to cope, I just have a lot on my mind" Arthur said, he just wanted this whole conversation to be over. "What do you mean a lot on your mind?" Fletch asked, knowing he was getting somewhere.

"I just have a lot on my mind so I don't have time to eat" Arthur said. At last, Fletch had finally found out most of it. "Can I get back to work now?" Arthur asked. Fletch nodded and watched as Arthur walked away.

He sighed, why couldn't Arthur just catch a break? He knew he'd have to talk Ben about it, he had no choice. Arthur was worrying him now. It's like he was just moving from one problem to the next.

Fletch knew that if Hanssen or Sacha or Serena found out about this then Arthur's career would be over; it would be finished. He started to walk down the corridor, knowing that he only had 5 minutes left of his break but he needed to sort this situation out first.

Ben sat in his office, rereading Arthur's file. He was praying that today would work for Arthur and his career. Ben knew Hanssen didn't give out many second chances, Arthur was lucky, so he knew that Arthur wouldn't not be given a third chance.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **Also sorry for the delay in updating, I was supposed to get this up on Monday however I was away so sorry for the delay :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you to , LudoJudo and Tenfangirl for reviewing, I always love hearing your feedback :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 10:

Fletch knocked on the door of Ben's office and waited for a response. "Come in!" Fletch heard Ben shout. Fletch opened the door, went into Ben's room then took a seat. "What can I do for you Nurse Fletcher?" Ben asked even though he knew it was about Arthur.

"Dom was talking to me earlier and mentioned that he hadn't seen Arthur eating; he asked me to go and speak to him" Fletch explained. "And how did that go?" Ben asked, sensing that it didn't go smoothly. "He denied a lot of what I said then said that he had a lot on his mind and didn't have time to eat."

Ben frowned; this does not sound good. "Right thanks, I'll find Arthur in a bit and speak to him. In the meantime can you and Dr. Copeland just keep an eye on him?" Ben asked. "Yeah course" Fletch replied. "Thanks" Ben said as Fletch stood up and left the office.

Ben sighed and put his head in his hands. When was this going to be enough for Arthur? He knew that this had to be dealt with fast. He figured it must be anxiety related; it has to be. Arthur wouldn't have an eating disorder, Ben knew.

Although Ben also knew that Arthur wanted the control. He wanted to control every aspect of his life and recently Arthur had been battling to lose that control. Ben sighed; he should have seen this coming. Arthur wanted the control, to feel like he was still in control and one of the ways he could do that was by controlling what he ate, when he ate and how much he ate.

Ben stood up from his desk, closing his laptop and grabbing his suit jacket. He had to go and find Arthur. He had to get to the bottom of what was going on.

Ben made his way down the Keller, hoping that Arthur wouldn't have wondered off anywhere. He should have saw this coming, but Arthur was so unpredictable; Ben had never really met anyone like him.

Another thing that concerned Ben was the fact that if Arthur wasn't eating, there's a high chance he wasn't taking his medication. Even though Arthur didn't see them as useful, Ben knew they were necessary to help Arthur recover.

He rounded the corner and walked through the doors onto Keller. He looked around, trying to find Arthur. He could Dom but still no Arthur. He walked on further onto the ward when he heard a voice behind a shelf talking to someone. He walked around and wasn't surprised to see that Arthur was there.

"Hey Arthur, you alright?" Ben asked as Arthur turned round from his patient, ending up facing Ben. "I'm fine" muttered, before pushing past Ben. He knew exactly why Ben had come to see him; it was Fletch's fault.

"You sure. Was wondering if we could have a chat?" Ben asked, knowing he had to play his cards carefully. "A chat about what?" Arthur asked. "Anything. You, work, I don't mind" Ben said, again keeping it casual.

Arthur knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. He wanted to talk about Arthur's eating habits, obviously. Fletch had gone straight to Ben after their little chat had finished. Arthur gritted his teeth and took a deep breath, he had to keep calm.

"Did Fletch speak to you?" Arthur asked, still knowing that he would get a lie for an answer. "That doesn't matter, I'm asking to speak to you" Ben said, completely avoiding the question Arthur had just asked.

"I didn't ask that" Arthur said, trying to hide his frustration. "I know you didn't, but I'm not answering it. So are you going to come and have that chat?" Ben asked, leaving now room for argument. Arthur just sighed and followed Ben out of Keller, missing the nod Ben gave to Sacha.

The walk back to Ben's office was quiet. Ben didn't try making conversation with Arthur; he could tell by the look on the young doctor's face that he wasn't in the mood. That just meant that Ben would have to work just that bit harder to get through to Arthur.

"Take a seat" Ben said as himself and Arthur entered his office. Arthur walked over to the sofa in Ben's office, furthest away from Ben's desk. Ben smiled at that, he grabbed his notebook from the desk and sat down on the opposite sofa.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Arthur asked, this time really not in the mood. "You eating habits and relationship with food" Ben replied. Arthur knew it, Fletch had betrayed him. "I don't have any eating habits" Arthur said sternly.

"Okay then, how about I ask a few questions that I have then we talk about it" Ben suggested, wanting to defuse the situation right there. Arthur nodded, knowing he wasn't going to win. "Right okay. How often do you eat a day?" Ben asked.

Arthur looked down at his feet because in truth, he didn't know how many times he ate a day. He couldn't even remember the last time he ate. He looked up at Ben and managed to make awkward eye contact with him, now Arthur knew he had to answer. A few" Arthur lied and Ben wrote that down.

"How many is a few?" Ben asked, already starting to doubt Arthur and believe Fletch. "A few" Arthur replied, really starting to hate this chat. "Okay then. How do you feel about food, like are there some foods you don't feel comfortable eating?" Ben asked, moving onto the next question as Arthur wasn't going to give him any more on the first question.

Arthur sat there and thought; it wasn't that he wasn't comfortable eating, he did. It's just he didn't see the point of eating, he was an adult, he could control what he ate and when he ate. He didn't need someone to tell him that he was doing it wrong.

"I feel fine when eating" Arthur said bluntly. Ben wrote that down and held back his sigh. He knew Arthur was lying, it was obvious and there was a part of him that just wanted to give up on this conversation.

"Right okay last question. How is your relationship with food? Is it good or is it bad?" Ben asked. Ben studied Arthur's face carefully, trying to see what Arthur was thinking. Arthur was thinking hard. His relationship with food?

"My relationship with food is good" Arthur said. Ben could immediately tell that that was a lie, Arthur didn't even think about it. "Did you think about that?" Ben asked and watched as Arthur shrunk into his chair.

Arthur knew Ben was onto him now. He could lie, that was probably the only way now, although Ben would already know. "Yes" Arthur replied to Ben's question, another blatant lie. "Okay" Ben said, seeing right through his lie.

"Are we done now?" Arthur asked, he just wanted to get out there. Ben hesitated before answering, he really needed to push more but the problem was he was scared to push Arthur too far in fear of pushing him right away.

"You can trust me, you know that and I'm here to help. I want to help Arthur, you can push me away but I won't go away, you can tell me if something is going on" Ben explained, hoping Arthur would understand.

"I know that" Arthur said, contemplating whether he should tell Ben. "But I'm okay, I just still have a few off days but nothing I can't handle" Arthur said. Ben nodded, knowing that he wasn't going to get anything else from him.

"Yeah you can go back, I'll see you later okay" Ben said as Arthur stood up to leave. "Yep, see you later" Arthur said as he left Ben's office. Ben sighed after Arthur had left, the road to recovery had just got even longer.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you to LudoJudo, Tenfangirl and for reviewing, your support for this story means so much and I apologise for the delay :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 11:

Arthur slowly walked down the corridor back to Keller. His mind was full of thoughts and feelings from what he'd just had a conversation with Ben about. Everything was just swirling in his brain. Thoughts racing at 100 miles per hour.

He was angry at Fletch as well. Well not really angry but betrayed; Fletch was supposed to be his friend, he thought he could trust him. Just proves his point that you can't trust anyone. He didn't have a problem with food, it's not like missing one meal was going to kill him.

He wasn't bothered about how much he ate so he didn't see why anyone else should be bothered. They didn't care. Why should he.

As Arthur broke himself out of his thoughts he realised his pace had quickened and so had his breathing. He leaned against and fought to steady his breathing, hoping that no one who knew him well walked past.

Arthur took some deep breaths, clearing head, knowing that the last thing he needed was a panic attack. After a few minutes his breathing had evened out. He leaned his head back against the wall and sighed. Why was everything such a mess?

After a few minutes of Arthur getting frustrated then having to calm himself down, he looked at his watch and realised he had to get back to Keller before anyone else overreacted. Sighing, he pushed himself off from the wall and continued his walk down to Keller in the complete wrong frame of mind.

"Hey, you alright?" Dom asked as soon as Arthur had arrived back on the ward. "Yes, I'm fine" Arthur said, taking a deep breath. "Are you sure?" Dom asked, sensing some discomfort from his friend.

Arthur clenched his fists, this is exactly what he was frustrated about. "Yep, I'm sure" Arthur said in an upbeat voice that caused Dom to frown. However before Dom could say something, Arthur walked away.

Dom sighed as watched Arthur walk away. He wondered what Ben had been talking to Arthur about, or whether he was just having a bad day. Although now that Dom thought about it, Arthur always seemed to be having bad days.

Something broke Dom out of his thoughts and he turned round to see Essie. "Dom, I need your help over here" she said. Dom stared at her blankly, letting what she had said sink in. "Oh yes" Dom said before following Essie, Arthur still not leaving his mind.

Arthur walked through Keller, not actually sure what he was supposed to be doing. He ended up at the nurse's station and leaned against the desk. He scanned the ward, looking for Sacha but not directly wanting to find him.

Arthur sighed; his thoughts were an absolute mess. He didn't know what to think anymore, he didn't know what he thought anymore. He didn't know what he wanted, or what he didn't want. It annoyed him that people were trying to make decisions for him, but then could be make the right decisions?

"Hey Arthur, you doing alright?" Sacha asked as he arrived at the nurse's station. "I'm fine" Arthur replied almost automatically. Sacha could see through the lie but decided not to comment on it seeing as it wasn't his place to do so.

"Have you got a patient or are you standing here?" Sacha asked. "I haven't got a patient" Arthur mumbled and Sacha almost didn't hear it. "Well let's get you one then" Sacha said looking through some files that had been left on the desk.

"Right here we are" Sacha said as he pulled out three files. "Right for all of these I want blood pressure, and heart rates but other stats that are specified in their file. Okay?" Sacha instructed. "Yep" Arthur replied as he took the files from Sacha before walking off.

Arthur sighed as he walked away. Is this what his job was now? Taking people's blood pressure and heart rate. Why did he even come back to Keller if this was the way he was going to have to work.

He made his way over to the first patient. "Hello, Mr. Gray" Arthur said as he looked down at the man's file. Arthur looked at man, expecting some sort of answer, but muttering something about ignorance when the man didn't.

He wrote down the man's heart rate before taking the blood pressure machine and wrapping it around the man's arm. He expected some sort of resistance from the man but he seemed too tired to care.

He took the man's blood pressure before writing it down in his file. He muttered something of a goodbye then walked back to the nurse's station to put the file back down and moved on to his next patient.

"Hello Mrs. Sharpe" Arthur greeted as he arrived at her bedside. "Hello doctor" Mrs. Sharpe replied. "I just need to take your blood pressure and heart rate" Arthur explained as he began writing down the lady's heart rate.

He got the blood pressure machine and wrapped it around the lady's arm. "How's your day been?" Mrs. Sharpe asked. Arthur took a deep breath. "My day's been pretty uneventful" Arthur replied, wanting the conversation to end as quickly as possible. "Oh that sounds okay then" Mrs. Sharpe replied as Arthur wrote down her blood pressure and removed the strap around her arm.

"Have a good day" Arthur said as walked away from Mrs. Sharpe. He dropped the file off at the nurse's station before moving onto his final patient. He looked down at the file seeing that he was called Mr. Stewart. He was recovering after having surgery and Arthur had heard that he was quite a grumpy man.

"Afternoon Mr. Stewart" Arthur said. "Hello" Mr. Stewart said roughly. "I'm here to take your blood pressure and heart rate" Arthur explained as he began to write down the man's heart rate. "Not if I have anything to do with it" Mr. Stewart muttered. Arthur hated this man's attitude.

"Well I've already got your heart rate so I just need to put this around your arm" Arthur said attempting to put the blue strap around the man's arm. "Get your hands away from me!" Mr. Stewart hissed. "Excuse me?" Arthur questioned.

"I'm not having you put that on me!' Mr. Stewart growled. Arthur took a deep breath trying to calm himself; this could not go wrong. "Mr. Stewart I just need to take your blood pressure" Arthur tried again, trying to steady his shaky hands.

"You can't even steady your own hands! I want a proper doctor!" Mr. Stewart exclaimed. That pushed Arthur over the edge. "Well I'm the only you're getting!' Arthur shouted, completely losing his composure.

"What?" Mr. Stewart questioned. "I am the only doctor you are getting so let me take your blood pressure!" Arthur shouted again. His whole body was tense, his breathing quickened and his hands wouldn't stop shaking. Everything was going wrong.

Sacha heard the commotion from across the ward and watched what was going on. He noticed that Arthur was extremely tense and looked like he was seconds away from killing someone. When he heard Arthur about again that's when he decided to intervene.

"I want a different doctor!' Mr. Stewart demanded as Sacha walked over to the pair. "Why don't me and Dr. Digby go and have a chat while I get you a different doctor" Sacha said as he guided Arthur away from the situation.

"I'm gonna report him!" Arthur heard Mr. Stewart shout as Sacha guided him away. That was it. Everything had gone wrong; he'd screwed up big time. His chest felt, his vision was blurry; he focused on his feet and let Sacha guide to wherever they were going.

Dom watched the whole incident take and shot Sacha a questioning look. Sacha just shrugged but motioned with his head for Dom to follow them. Dom understood and followed Sacha and Arthur into the office.

"Right you sit down there" Sacha said as he helped Arthur sit down. "Arthur, what happened?" Dom asked as he knelt down in front of his friend. He swore Arthur was going to be the death of him.

Arthur wanted to answer but he couldn't, it was like he was choking. His chest was tight, he pulled at his top hoping to relieve pressure but it didn't work. He couldn't breath, everything was happening too fast, everything was too loud.

Dom and Sacha both immediately recognised what was happening. "Arthur your having a panic attack, I need you take deep breaths" Sacha said. "Arthur, you need to calm down."

 **Thank you for reading, struggled a bit with this chapter so I hope it's okay, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you to , LudoJudo, Tenfangirl and for reviewing, your support for this story means so much :)**

 **Also I apologise for the delay in updating, I've been on my holidays but I'm back now so updates shouldn't be this long**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 12:

Dom and Sacha both immediately recognised what was happening. "Arthur your having a panic attack, I need you take deep breaths" Sacha said. "Arthur, you need to calm down."

"Arthur look at me" Dom instructed. "Arthur breathe" Dom said again, trying to guide Arthur through. Except it wasn't working and Dom didn't know why. "Arthur follow my breathing, in and out, in and out" Dom encouraged.

Sacha watched on as Dom tried to help Arthur and very quickly it became clear what was going on. Dom was trying too hard and he starting to get worked up which wasn't helping Arthur.

Seeing that Dom wasn't getting anywhere and the sooner they got Arthur calm the better, Sacha decided to intervene.."Hey Dom, why don't you go and take a break, I'll deal with this" Sacha said calmly but firmly.

Dom looked up at Sacha, knowing that now wasn't the time to argue. He could feel himself getting worked up and the rational part of him knew that he had to take a break. "Yeah okay, just look after him" Dom said as he stood up to leave, not before glancing at Arthur one last time.

After Dom left, Sacha took a deep breath and knelt down in front of Arthur. "Arthur, it's just me know; can you look at me?" Sacha requested, keeping his voice steady and clear.

Arthur couldn't breathe, his chest was too tight and yet again he'd got it wrong. He'd messed up! He knew this was the last straw. He'd lost his job. He'd ruined his career. He'd let his parents down. He'd let everybody down!

"Arthur" Sacha said patiently but hiding the urgency in his voice. He'd noticed that Arthur's breathing had rapidly increased. "Arthur can you focus on me?" Sacha again requested, really hoping that Arthur could hear him.

As Arthur's chest began rising faster, he could also hear something, or someone. The voice was calm, not panicky like the last one. He decided to try and listen to him, it might help.

"Arthur just look at me" the voice instructed. Arthur looked up and tried to follow where the voice was coming from. He realised as his vision cleared that the man talking to him was Sacha.

"There, that's it, just breathe" Sacha comforted again. He looked Arthur directly in eyes, not breaking the contact and keeping his breathing steady so Arthur could breath with. "That's it" Sacha said as Arthur's breathing slowed down and all the tension just flowed from his body.

"Sorry" Arthur apologised immediately. He felt awful, look at what he'd just done in front of Sacha and Dom. They'd witnessed all of it and he knew that Sacha wouldn't want him working on Keller anymore; which meant there was only Darwin left and they definitely wouldn't want him.

"Don't apologise" Sacha said gently, hating how the first thing Arthur said was an apology. "There you're fine now" Sacha said, more for the reassurance of himself rather than Arthur. Sacha stayed kneeling down on the floor, looking Arthur in the eyes.

"Now I'm not going to lie", Sacha began, "but you know there's no way I can let this go." Arthur's whole body tensed and it didn't go unnoticed by Sacha. "Just relax" he reminded and waiting for Arthur to relax again.

"As I said, I have to inform somebody about this and you know why" Sacha said, not breaking eye contact with Arthur. Arthur nodded, not thinking he couldn't speak. There was a lump in his throat that just wouldn't budge.

The two stayed like that for a few more minutes, Sacha wanting to make sure Arthur was completely calm and understood everything that was about to happen. He knew exactly what Hanssen would say but just hoped that the uptight man would have some consideration.

"Right, I need to go and speak to someone. Are you going to be okay to wait here by yourself?" Sacha asked, not really intending on getting anyone. "I'll be fine" Arthur replied, managing to push down the lump in his throat.

"Good man" Sacha said before standing up and exiting the office, leaving the Arthur alone with his thoughts.

Sacha made his way through Keller, not making eye contact with anyone and not talking to anyone; Arthur could explain everything later if he wanted too. In truth, Sacha was scared; he was scared for someone who in times felt like a son to him. He knew there was only so many chances Hanssen could give and Sacha would never forgive himself if this was the end of Arthur's career.

He walked through the corridors on the way to Hanssen's office, considering whether he should get Ben. He knew Arthur wouldn't want him to, in fact there was a good chance Arthur wouldn't speak to him if he did.

He rounded the corner and came face to face with Hanssen's office. Then he started to rethink. Could he really tell Hanssen what had happened. Well, he had no choice, that man was definitely going to report there was no denying that. Taking a deep breath, deciding that this was the best way to try and keep both their jobs, Sacha knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Hanssen shouted as he sat at his desk. Sacha entered and stood in front of Hanssen. "Ah Dr. Levy what can I do for you?" Hanssen asked as he gestured to a seat in front of his desk that Sacha sat down in.

"I need to talk to you about Dr. Digby" Sacha confessed, feeling his heart rate increase rapidly. "I thought you might be here about the young doctor" Hanssen said, not helping Sacha at all. "Really?" Sacha asked mockingly, trying to breath away the tension.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Hanssen asked. Now the hard part came. "I think Arthur needs a break" Sacha said, trying to avoid going into details about what had happened. "Why would you think that?" Hanssen asked.

Sacha sighed. "I just he needs a break, a few days of compassionate leave maybe" Sacha suggested, hoping Hanssen wouldn't ask what had happened. "What's happened Dr. Levy?" Hanssen asked, his stern leaving no room for hesitation.

Sacha knew he had to tell him now, or risk damaging both of their jobs. "He had panic attack not long ago down on Keller, I just think he's pushing himself too hard and needs a break" Sacha explained, surprisingly happy with how that sounded.

"Okay then" Hanssen considered his options. He could send Arthur on compassionate leave but this would his third chance and normally that never happened. Although he knew that Dr. Digby was special, could he really give one person special treatment?

"Look, I can see what's going through your head and please consider it. Arthur's a good kid, he's a great doctor and he just needs a break. Whatever you do don't ruin his career" Sacha pleaded.

Hanssen thought for a moment. "Is he calm?" Sacha nodded. "Right send him down, I want to speak to him" Hanssen requested. Sacha nodded and stood up leaving the room, hoping that Hanssen wouldn't do anything drastic.

Arthur had been sitting in the office for no more than 10 minutes when Sacha came back in. Arthur knew where he'd been; he knew he didn't want to go there but he also knew he had no choice. He watched as Sacha sat down in a chair next to him and began to speak.

"Now Arthur, Hanssen wants to see you in his office but before you go, there's something I want you to" Sacha began, "whatever happens, you will still have our full support; not just from everyone here on Keller but everyone at Holby" Sacha explained.

"Yeah okay" Arthur replied, not quite sure how to react. "Do you want to walk you down or will you be alright?" Sacha asked. "I'll be fine" Arthur replied with a smile. He stood up and left the office, knowing that he had to stay calm.

As he walked through Keller, he shot a small smile at Dom, which was returned.

Hanssen sat in his office as his waited for Arthur to arrive. He was still undecided but knew had to make his mind up soon. Despite what people thought, he wasn't that strict, he knew that this career meant everything to Arthur and he didn't plan on ruining it.

"Come in!" Hanssen shouted as he heard a knock at the door. Arthur slowly entered the office and shut the door behind him. "Take a seat" Hanssen said as Arthur cautiously walked over and sat down.

"Now Dr. Digby, I know that you have been battling with some personal issues and I'm not going to go into them today. Although, I am going to say that you are now on 3 days compassionate leave" Hanssen explained.

"Wait. What?" Arthur asked. "Dr. Digby after what happened today, it is clear that you have just been working yourself too hard and need a break. You will come back in 3 days ready to start again. Is that okay?" Hanssen asked.

"Yeah. Thank you" Arthur replied. He stood up and left the office letting out a sigh of relief. He still had a job.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you to , Tenfangirl and LudoJudo for reviewing, your support means so much and I hope you enjoy this chapter :**

 **Also I would like to apologise for the delay in updating, I've recently had an operation on my hand which has made writing harder :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 13:

 _3 days later_

Arthur sighed as he looked in the mirror. The past three days had just been filled with complete boredom. Dom and Zosia has insisted that he just stay in and relax so that's what he'd ended up doing, except he wasn't really relaxing.

"You ready?" Zosia asked as she walked in and grabbed her bag. "Yeah" Arthur replied, hoping that this wasn't going to be the start of yet another conversation. "How you feeling?" Zosia asked.

Arthur sighed, he really couldn't be bothered for this. He just wanted to get through today, incident free. "I feel fine" Arthur replied, even though he knew saying 'fine' was just going to make Zosia even more suspicious.

"It's okay to be a bit nervous, people will understand" Zosia said; she was only trying to help her friend. She was worried about him, in fact everyone was worried about him. It felt like Arthur didn't understand the seriousness of the situation he was in.

"Zosia", Arthur began wanting to set the story straight, "I'm not nervous. It's work and if I'm honest with you I can't wait to get back, this place is so boring." Arthur smiled as he spoke, wanting to show her that he was 'fine'.

"That's great, we should get going through; we don't want to be late" Zosia said chuckling to herself as Arthur grabbed his bag and followed her out the door, forgetting about the little box of pills in the cupboard.

As Zosia and Arthur walked towards the hospital entrance, Arthur began to question if coming back to work was a good idea. What is something went wrong again? What if it was his fault?

Arthur shook his head, ridding himself of those thoughts. He couldn't think like that not on his first day back. You know, positive mental attitude and all that. He continued to follow Zosia through the double doors but tuned out of her rambling.

"Right so enjoy today and I'll see you tonight" Zosia said as she Arthur parted as the lift doors opened. "Yep, see you later" Arthur said as he turned to walk in the direction of Keller. "Also Arthur, I know Dom's waiting for you" he heard Zosia say as he walked down the corridor.

Arthur just concentrated on walking down the corridor and making it to Keller. His head was flustered, he was just focusing on keeping his breathing steady and his heart rate normal. That shouldn't be so hard should it?

Ben leaned back in his chair and sighed. Out of all of his patients, Arthur was the one that puzzled him the most. There was something off with the young doctor, there had been since he'd came back to work. The problem was, was that Ben couldn't work out what was wrong. Did that mean he was doing his job wrong? Maybe, but now he had to figure it out.

He thought back to their previous conversations, the questions he had asked and the responses Arthur had given him. He asked a lot of similar questions and as always he got the same one worded answers.

The one question that stuck in his head was, was Arthur taking his medication. He asked it every week and every week he got the same, very fast and panicked answer of yes. That's where something wasn't right.

He should have seen it sooner, but then Arthur was such a closed off person that even getting him to talk was a miracle. He knew that Arthur didn't want help, didn't think he needed help and therefore asking him to take medication was a big ask.

Arthur had been on shift for half an hour and things were actually going okay. He'd only had to prep a patient for an operation which normally was a struggle, however today things went smoothly.

"How's it going?" Sacha asked as he joined Arthur at the nurse's station. "It's going good" Arthur said with a genuine smile. He liked that with Sacha, he didn't ask Arthur if he was okay, he asked how things were going which meant that Arthur could at least answer the question.

"That's good, we're pretty quiet today anyways, well that's if AAU don't need us" Sacha said chuckling and causing Arthur to crack a smile. "What are you two smiling about?" Dom asked as he joined them at the nurse's station.

"Not making plans without me I hope" Dom said playfully, again causing Arthur and Sacha to smile. Dom couldn't believe it, this was the first time he'd seen his best friend smile in what felt like years.

"No, no, we're just discussing things" Sacha said, he too happy that Arthur seemed to be enjoying himself. "Well sorry to break this to you boys, but I've got to get back to work" Sacha said, leaving the two friends alone.

"You happy to be back?" Dom asked, knowing that Arthur didn't like people asking him how he was feeling. "Yeah, it's the same as always" Arthur said, still smiling. "Yeah this place never changes" Dom commented.

Arthur didn't know what to say to that, he didn't even know where the conversation was going. He told himself to breathe and try to think of a response. "I don't think it ever will" Arthur replied, happy that he made Dom smile.

Ben thought, he had to speak to Arthur about it. He had a session with him later but he knew he'd get the same one worded answers as always. He had to be tougher with Arthur now, otherwise they'd get to to the point where there was no more that Ben could do.

He looked at the clock and saw that his session with Arthur wasn't for another two hours, meaning that he would go and get Arthur to make sure he did come and on time. Ben had to be tougher.

Arthur's day has been going surprisingly well. Nothing had gone wrong, he'd had what could be described as 'easy' jobs but that was okay with him and he hadn't made any mistakes. Dom and Sacha hadn't really been acting any different, which is was grateful for.

Looking at the clock though, brought him out of his thoughts. He knew he had an appointment with Ben, but in all honesty, he didn't see the need to go. Today was going great, he didn't need to talk to Ben and have th at ruin everything.

"Arthur?" Someone's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "Can you help me with this?" Dom asked, gesturing to the file he was reading at the nurse's station. Arthur nodded and walked over to his friend.

"What can I help you with?" Arthur asked. "This patient, he fell down the stairs and hit his head and obviously hit his head. I've got his head CT and I need a second opinion" Dom explained as he showed Arthur the scan.

Arthur looked at the scan and frowned; there wasn't anything that stood out to him was worrying on the scan. "I don't see anything concerning" Arthur said, not sure where Dom was going with this.

"Exactly, that's what I thought. I just needed to make sure I hadn't missed anything" Dom said as he gathered together the scan and the patient's file before walking away. Arthur frowned as Dom walked away, not quite understanding what had just happened.

An hour and a half later, Arthur hadn't really done any more work, he'd just helped out with things. He sighed and looked at the clock, his appointment was in 5 minutes and he could feel his heart starting to beat a bit faster.

He breathed, trying to slow it down; the last thing he needed was to freak out. He decided that actually, if the appointment was making him this nervous then he might as well not go, he'll just make an excuse later.

Except Ben had other ideas.

Ben locked his office door and started to make his way down the corridor. He'd decided today he was going to confront Arthur about his medication; if he couldn't get Arthur to speak soon, then Arthur wouldn't be speaking to Ben in the future.

He rounded the corner and walked down in the direction of Keller. Deep down he could tell that Arthur wasn't planning to come to the session anyways, so this is what Ben had to do.

He walked on to Keller and found Arthur at the nurse's station. He looked around and saw Sacha who nodded to him and Ben nodded back. He walked over to where Arthur and stood next to him. "You ready?" Ben asked.

Arthur was brought out of his thoughts by a voice and when he looked to his right, he held in a sigh. Of course Ben would come and find him. Of course he would!

"Yep" Arthur replied, gritting his teeth. "Right come on then" Ben said as he lead Arthur out of Keller. The walk through the corridor was awkward and quiet, Arthur just wanting to turn around at any moment but he knew for his sake he couldn't.

"Right take a seat" Ben said as he unlocked his office door and walked in. Arthur took a seat in his usual spot on one of the sofas, while Ben grabbed his notebook and sat on the opposite one.

"Now Arthur today, we need to get to the bottom of something" Ben said as he turned to a new page in his notebook. "And I need you to be honest" Ben added and Arthur nodded. "Are you taking your medication?"

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you to for reviewing, I love hearing your feedback and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 14:

"Now Arthur today, we need to get to the bottom of something" Ben said as he turned to a new page in his notebook. "And I need you to be honest" Ben added and Arthur nodded. "Are you taking your medication?"

Arthur froze. He wasn't expecting this question. Well no he hadn't been taking his medication, but that didn't matter. He was fine. But why was Ben asking this question? He'd never really spoke about medication before.

"Arthur, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, I just want to talk and today I want to talk about your medication" Ben explained, sensing Arthur's uneasiness. Arthur nodded, trying to think of a way to answer the question.

What was he supposed to say? He couldn't tell Ben that he wasn't taking his medication. That wouldn't go down well and he'd most certainly lose his job; his whole life would just be ruined.

Ben watched and could see that Arthur was over-thinkimg the question. Ben, in fact, already knew the answer but he needed to Arthur to admit it, to be able to move forward. Until Arthur realised what he was doing and that it was wrong, the sooner Ben could work with him on improving that issue.

Ben knew that a conflict was currently taking place in Arthur's mind. He was trying to figure out whether he should tell Ben or not. He was trying to think of the consequences, instead of telling the truth.

"Arthur, stop over-thinking things" Ben said softly. "I'm not over-thinking" Arthur replied, slightly annoyed that Ben could almost read his mind. "I can tell that you are, just slow down" Ben replied.

From that moment Arthur knew that he had no choice. Ben probably already knew he just wanted Arthur to say it. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the disappointed looks; once again he'd screwed up.

"I-I'm not taking it" Arthur said quietly looking down at the floor. Ben watched as guilt over took Arthur and he understood what his greatest fear was. "Arthur, Arthur look at me" Ben requested softly.

Arthur slowly raised his head and looked Ben in the eyes. "No one is upset, what you've done is great. You've admitted it and that's the first step" Ben said, wanting to explain to Arthur straight away that he hadn't messed up.

Arthur nodded and knew he was going to have to explain himself soon. "Right, so all I want to know to now is why. But I don't just mean why you didn't take them, I mean anything that is on your mind" Ben said, knowing this was his chance to get Arthur to talk.

Arthur sighed, there was no way he could ignore the problems now. He had to say something but could he say the truth? Could he actually tell Ben the real reason? He looked down at his feet and knew his was running out of time.

Ben watched on as he saw Arthur battle his mind. He knew this was going to be to tough on Arthur, that's why Ben wasn't pushing him. "Just take your time" Ben said.

Arthur was taking his time but he felt he was taking too long. Ben would be getting impatient, maybe he should just not bother; Ben wouldn't want to listen anyways. But then maybe he should bother, after all Ben was sitting here with him.

Ok. He was going to speak. What was he supposed to say? Deep down, Arthur didn't even know the reason why he didn't take his medication; it was just a subconscious decision.

"I don't know" Arthur said quietly, breaking the silence. "You don't know what?" Ben asked, intrigued to where this would take the conversation. "I just don't know" Arthur replied, unsure of what else could say.

"Okay", Ben began, pleased they were getting somewhere, "what do you mean by you don't know?" Ben asked. "Do you mean that you don't know how you feel; you don't know why you didn't take your medication" Ben said as he gave Arthur a few options.

Arthur looked down at the floor as he thought about what Ben said. He was right, Arthur didn't know how he felt. His feelings were a constant whirlwind that consisted of stress, worry, anxiety and anger; it confused him.

As for his medication, he did know why he didn't take it. He didn't take it because he was scared; scared of what would happen. It would sound silly to Ben, that's exactly why Arthur wasn't saying anything.

"What are your feelings like?" Ben asked, figuring this was the best way forward. Arthur sighed, now he had to explain himself. Sensing Arthur's struggling, Ben prompted. "Are they clear or messed up?"

"Messed up, I guess" Arthur mumbled. "Okay, so out of those messed up feelings which one stands out the most?" Ben asked. Arthur was stumped. He didn't have a stand out feeling, well he probably did but he just pushed it down and ignored it.

Stress was a big one but then so was worry. Arthur just couldn't make up his mind. "I guess stress might be a big one" Arthur said quietly still looking down at his feet. "Okay so what are you feeling stressed about?" Ben asked, wanted to dig deeper.

"Just anything" Arthur replied. "And you know that the medication can help your stress levels" Ben said. Arthur sighed, of course Ben would do that. Of course he would. "Yeah I know that" Arthur replied, not liking where Ben was taking this conversation.

"And also symptoms of anxiety, including worry, are helped by the medication as well" Ben said, pushing point further. "But it's not just the medication that helps" Arthur said, trying to fight his corner.

"Your right", Ben replied, "but that's not my point." Arthur frowned. What was Ben trying to say now? "Your treatment plan, was medication and also counselling, so that's your support sessions with me" Ben explained.

Arthur nodded, taking in what Ben had just said. He didn't remember someone telling him that but honestly, he didn't remember much about the past few months, it was all just a blur to him.

"All I'm trying to figure out today is why you don't take your medication" Ben said, wanting to get to the bottom of the situation; it was the only way they could move forwards.

Arthur was starting to get sick of this, but then he realised if he just told Ben why he didn't take it. Except it wasn't that easy, in fact Arthur didn't even know why it was so hard. There was a part of him that wanted to say why, but then an even bigger part that knew it wasn't worth it.

"People don't take their medication for lots of different reasons, sometimes it's a common one, but normally it's something more personal to them" Ben explained, hoping this would get Arthur to open up.

Arthur listened to what Ben said. He thought about the personal reasons and realised he knew what Ben meant. He didn't take his medication because deep down, he was scaring of losing control; he was scared being like he was before.

But then he was scared to tell Ben, or was he? Either way there was something holding Arthur back and honestly he was tired now. He needed to say but he'd never got the chance, or had the right person.

He didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone else, or anyone else wouldn't understand what he was trying to say. At least he knew what he needed to say and how we was going to say it.

"Arthur, I'm not going to judge you, you know I won't. All I want to find out is why you're not taking your medication because at the end of the day, it's quite serious" Ben explained, hoping this time he would get through to Arthur.

Arthur nodded, he knew that. He took a deep breath, calming himself, he knew what he needed to say and he could say it.

"I don't take my medication because I-I"m scared of losing control."

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you to , Tenfangirl and LudoJudo for reviewing, your support for this story means so much and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 15:

"I don't take my medication because I-I"m scared of losing control."

Ben let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and wrote down what Arthur said. This was good, this was really good in fact. He had needed Arthur to do this all along and now they could work towards his recovery.

"That's good, Arthur" Ben reassured. "What? Not taking my medication?" Arthur asked, sarcasm evident in his tone. "No, the fact you can admit why. I know it took a lot of courage" Ben said, expecting this kind of reaction from Arthur.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, many don't take their medication for different reasons" Ben explained. "I bet no one doesn't take it because they're scared of losing control" Arthur muttered. "How much are you betting; you'd be surprised" Ben said.

Arthur smiled a bit but looked down at his shoes. "But it doesn't change the fact that you haven't been taking it" Ben said, his tone turning slightly more serious and Arthur knew the jokes were over.

"Are you gonna tell anyone?" Arthur asked, avoiding eye contact with Ben. "I'm not going to tell anyone personally, and I doubt you will, but it will go down on your file" Ben explained. Arthur nodded, knowing it was better on his file than anyone being told.

"So now we have to find a way that you can take your medication" Ben said, knowing this was where things could go downhill. "What do you mean?" Arthur asked. "You've been prescribed that medication because you need it, you have to take it until the course runs out" Ben explained.

Arthur sighed, he wanted to ask what would happen if he didn't take it, however he knew that would just concern Ben more. He was conflicted in his mind. Part of him wanted to take it, but then the other side didn't want to give up that control.

Control! It was always the same problem.

"So Arthur, here's what we need to do" Ben began, breaking Arthur out of his thoughts. Arthur's head snapped to attention and looked at Ben. "Now, we know that you don't take your medication because it means that you have a lack of control" Ben stated, waiting for Arthur to nod before carrying on.

Arthur nodded, but averted his eyes back down to the floor. "What we are going to do, is we're going to work towards making it so that you feel you can take your medication but then also stay in a reasonable amount of control.

"How do we do that?" Arthur asked. "You take your medication. As blunt as that sounds, it's the only way your mind and body will be able to overcome the fear losing control" Ben explained. Arthur kicked himself mentally for not realising how obvious the answer would.

"So here's what I want you to do", Ben began.."I want you to take your medication every morning when you're supposed to take it and I will be informing your flatmates about this."

"What so they can keep an eye on me" Arthur interrupted. "No, so they know not to mention it and make a big deal out of it" Ben clarified. Arthur nodded and decided that seemed more reasonable.

"Now, I think that's the end of our session today", Ben said, closing his notebook. Arthur nodded and began to stand up. "Now you know what the plan is?" Ben questioned. Arthur nodded. "Great, I will speak to Dom and Zosia, and if you need me in the meantime you know where to find me" Ben explained.

He and Arthur said their goodbyes, before Arthur left and Ben slumped down at his desk. He sighed, but not a frustrated one, a one that meant they were getting somewhere.

Arthur made his way back down the corridors, his mind too full of thoughts for him to be able to think. He'd literally just told Ben the biggest thing in his life. He could lose his job over this! His career would be ruined.

He began to walk faster and instead of walking in the direction of Keller, he walked in the direction of the toilets; he needed some time to breathe. He walked and checked nobody else was there.

Once he was sure, he leaned against the sinks and looked at himself in the mirror. He was a mess. He took his glasses off and turned the cold tap on, splashing cold water on to his face. He breathed a sigh and the relief before drying his face off and putting his glasses back on.

Arthur exited the toilets and made his way to Keller. He only had two hours to go; he could do this.

"Everything alright Arthur?" Sacha asked as Arthur walked back through the double doors. "Yeah" Arthur replied. "Well, we're quite quiet at the minute but I'm sure you'll find something to do" Sacha said smiling and Arthur smiled back before walking over to the nurse's station.

"Hey, you alright?" Dom asked, as he looked through files as Arthur approached. "Yeah, we got anything coming in?" Dom looked through some files and then the computer. "No, just the same ones as this morning. We're surprisingly quiet today" Dom observed.

Arthur chuckled. "Sacha said that too." Dom smiled. "Well, if you've got nothing else to do you might as well assist me in a blood test I have to go and do" Dom picking up the correct file and walking with Arthur to the storage cupboard.

Sacha smiled as he watched Dom and Arthur walk away. Arthur would be fine; he knew it.

Before Arthur knew, two hours had passed and he was gathering his things ready to go home. Dom said he'd meet Arthur out in the car park as he had to pick something up from Zosia.

Arthur walked quietly through the corridor before rounding a corner and bumping into Fletch. "Hey Arthur, you alright?" Fletch asked, smiling. Arthur couldn't work out why Fletch was smiling, didn't he know what he had done?

"I'm fine" Arthur replied, trying to get around Fletch. "Look Arthur, I just wanted to apologise" Fletch said, stopping Arthur from getting round him. "What, for sticking your nose in where it doesn't fit?" Arthur asked bluntly.

Fletch sighed. "I was only doing that for you and your best interests, I was concerned about you" Fletch tried to explain, in his head and heart he was doing the right thing. "Maybe you should place your concern elsewhere" Arthur suggested, sarcasm evident in his tone.

"Look I'm sorry that you seemed so offended that I spoke to Ben, but believe me it was in your best interests" Fletch explained, figuring he could at least explain, whether Arthur would listen or not.

"Whatever" Arthur growled as he pushed past Fletch and carried on down the corridor. Fletch sighed as he watched Arthur walked away, what had just happened upset him; that wasn't the Arthur he knew.

Arthur continued out to the car, where Dom was waiting. "You alright?" Dom asked as Arthur got into the car. "Yeah, I'm fine. Where's Zosia?" Arthur asked. "Her shift doesn't finish for another three hours, she's just going to meet us at home" Dom explained.

Arthur nodded as Dom pulled out of the parking space and headed home. Arthur was glad the day was over.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter, and to any of my readers that are celebrating Christmas, I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New year :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you to , Tenfangirl and LudoJudo for reviewing, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 16:

The next day, Arthur couldn't decide if he was feeling better than the day before or just relieved it was over. He hated every second of it and had already decided that today was going to be better; it had to be better.

"Me and Zosia were thinking about maybe having a movie night soon" Dom said as they walked into the hospital. "Were you?" Arthur asked. "Yeah, you know, we could order a pizza and spend the night in together."

"Yeah that sounds okay" Arthur said, not really taking any interest in the conversation. "Yeah?" questioned Dom. "Yeah" replied Arthur, shooting his friend a small smile. "You got any idea when you'd like to do it?" Dom asked, wanting to get planning straight away so he could tell Zosia.

"Erm, maybe the weekend" Arthur suggested as they stepped into the lift. "Yeah, we could do it on Saturday night" Dom said. Arthur nodded, still trying to keep an interest in the conversation but it wasn't happening.

"I'll check with Zosia and see how her schedule works out" Dom said, still trying keep the conversation going. "Yeah, that sounds okay" Arthur said, as they stepped out of the lift.

"So how long's your shift today?" Dom asked as they rounded the corner and headed towards the doors of Keller. "Six hours. What about yours?" Arthur asked. "Eight. But I'm going to see if I can finish early' Dom said smiling.

"Why would you want to do that?" Arthur asked as they walked on to Keller. "To spend time with my best friend" Dom said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Right" Arthur replied, putting his bag away in his locker.

Dom smiled at his friend and watched as Arthur walked away to get changes into his scrubs. He sighed and wished that Arthur could see just how much he and Zosia cared about him. He'd received a phone call last night that worried him.

It was Ben calling to inform him that Arthur wasn't taking his medication and possibly wasn't eating enough. The eating bit didn't really concern Dom; he'd lived with Arthur long enough to know that the man doesn't have regular eating patterns.

It was the medication. Everyone thought Arthur was coping, it was the fact that no one noticed. He and Zosia lived with Arthur and they didn't even notice. What kind of friends a did that make them?

Dom was snapped out of his thoughts by Arthur re-entering the room. "Hey, I'll go get changed then we can get started, yeah?" Dom questioned as he grabbed his scrubs. Arthur nodded in reply and Dom left to get changed.

Arthur sat down on the bench and waited for Dom. He'd had this feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach all night and had been trying to tell himself that he was going to have a good day.

He'd ended up taking his medication that morning as Dom didn't seem to leave the kitchen and glanced at Arthur's medication box until Arthur seemed to get the hint and take it. Luckily he hadn't pressed Arthur to eat more, considering a slice of toast was all Arthur could manage; he felt sick.

"There we go. You ready?" Dom asked as he dumped his other clothes in his locker. "Yeah" Arthur said, hiding the uncertainty in his voice as he stood up. Dom smiled at him and walked out the door as Arthur followed.

"Morning gentlemen" Sacha greeted as Arthur and Dom approached the nurses station. "Morning" both men replied. "What do we have today?" Dom asked as he grabbed a file off the pile that was slowly building on the desk.

"Nothing too exciting" Sacha said. "A few people in for operations, Mrs Evans over there has came in because she collapsed and Mr Parker over there has come to have his pacemaker checked."

"Okay, so what do you want us to do?" Dom asked as he passed the file he was reading over to Arthur. "For the people that have came in for operations just check their vitals and prep them when needed" Sacha explained. "As for Mrs Evans, I'm going to check her over and one of you can help me. The other one can go with Essie and help her with the pacemaker check up because I've heard he's quite a handful."

Dom and Arthur both smiled. Only Sacha would lower his voice when insulting a patient. "That sound okay?" Sacha asked. "Yep" Dom and Arthur replied, moving off and getting to work.

The morning passed by smoothly for Arthur. He'd spend his time helping people prep for surgery and explaining to someone the reason why they couldn't film their surgery to show their friends. Arthur didn't understand some people.

"How was your morning?" Dom asked as he dumped some files on the desk. "The usual, yours?" Arthur replied. "Same old, same old" Dom said, smiling at the fact he and Arthur were talking and it didn't feel awkward.

"Sorry to interrupt boys but Arthur I need you with me and Dom your getting the pacemaker check up" Sacha said as he picked up a file. "Yay" Dom said sarcastically. Arthur smiled and followed Sacha over to Mrs Evans.

"Mrs Evans, how are you feeling?" Sacha asked as they arrived at her bedside. "I've been better" she replied smiling weakly. Sacha smiled back. "This Dr. Digby and we're going to be finding out what caused you collapse" Sacha explained.

Mrs Evans smiled at Arthur and he smiled back. Sacha handed Arthur the test results and the first thing Arthur saw was she had very low blood pressure. He figured this was probably the most likely cause and he was surprised that with blood pressure like that she hadn't been in before.

"What do you think?" Sacha asked as they turned away from Mrs Evans. "Low blood pressure" Arthur replied. Sacha nodded but knew something. He didn't want to tell Arthur but knew he had to.

"She's also got chest pain and said she experiences dizziness when standing up and sitting down" Sacha said. He watched as Arthur's face paled. Arthur shoved the file back in Sacha's arms and made his way towards the locker room.

Dom watched from across the room and sighed. Why did this have to happen? He motioned with his head to Sacha if he should go, but Sacha shook his head, indicating that he would go.

"I'm sorry Mrs Evans, I'll send another doctor over in a minute" Sacha said, apologising to Mrs Evans before walking off, following Arthur.

Arthur barged into the locker room and sat down on the bench. He tried to calm his bouncing leg and shaky breathing. Why? Why! Why! Why! He just assumed something, he got it wrong, that's the worst thing that can happen.

He tried to push those thoughts to the back of his mind, knowing if he could that getting his breathing under control would be much easier. He placed his head in his hands and focused on the floor.

Sacha wasn't surprised when he walked in the locker room and found Arthur to supposedly be in mid panic attack. However as he got closer he realised that Arthur wasn't mid panic attack and he was in fact doing a pretty good job at controlling it.

Sacha slowly sat down next to Arthur as so not to startle him. He knew that he would just have to ride it out and wait for Arthur. He listened to the ragged breathing but also looked at Arthur's body language.

He compared it to the last time Arthur had a panic attack and he could see improvement. He knew Arthur wouldn't see it but the fact he could, meant Arthur was definitely making progress.

Dom sighed as he placed the file back on the desk. He wanted to go in and see Arthur but Essie had told him to let Sacha handle it. It didn't take a genius to guess what Sacha was handling.

Arthur had had another panic attack. This worried Dom and since he was on a break, he decides he needed to go and speak to someone.

Sacha waited for 5 minutes before noticing that Arthur's breathing had slowed and his legs weren't bouncing as fast. "You did well then" Sacha commented. Arthur looked at him and frowned.

"What do you mean? I-I just had a panic attack and left a patient; that's not good" Arthur said, not seeing where Sacha was coming from. "Yes you did. But you also managed to control it in around 5 minutes" Sacha reasoned.

"And that's good?" Arthur asked. "That's really good. You recognised what was about to happen, you removed yourself from the situation and handled it. I can't ask for anything else" Sacha said.

"You sure?" Arthur asked. "I'm positive" Sacha replied.

"Hey Dom, what can I do for you?" Zosia asked as Dom arrived on Darwin. He sighed and leaned against the desk. "What's wrong?' Zosia asked, looking at Dom's concerned face. "Let's go in here" Zosia suggested, directing him over to the locker room.

"What's happened?" Zosia asked. "Arthur" Dom replied. "Is he alright?" Zosia asked. "I don't know" Dom said, running a hand over his face. "Why what's happened?" Zosia asked as Dom began to scare her.

"Arthur had another panic attack" Dom said. Zosia sighed, it always pained her to know what Arthur was going through. "I just don't know what to do anymore" Dom admitted. "I'm just so worried about him and I wish he didn't freak out over everything."

Zosia listened carefully to Dom and understood where he was coming from. "I know and it's not fair. I wish he wasn't so worried either and it pains me that we've sort of lost the old Arthur" Zosia said.

"Don't say that" Dom replied. "Okay, so then we have to help get the old Arthur back" Zosia replied. "How do we do that? Dom asked. "Movie night" Zosia replied. Dom smiled; movie night would work.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you to Tenfangirl and for reviewing, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 17:

As promised that Saturday was movie night. It was a chance for all three to relax and forget about their hectic work lives. They'd all had the day off and had spent it cooking and playing video games. Much to Arthur's surprise that Dom actually wanted to play the video game.

"So what are we watching?" Dom asked as he put the phone down after ordering the pizza. "I don't really mind" Zosia said, leaving the decision up to Arthur. "What time is the pizza going to get here?" Zosia asked.

"Should be about half an hour" Dom replied. "Did you get the usual?" Arthur asked. "Yep, two margaritas and one pepperoni" Dom answered, smiling at Arthur's reluctance to change. "What about drinks?" Zosia asked. "We've got some in the kitchen."

"So what are we watching?" Dom asked again. "Arthur, what do you fancy?" Zosia asked. Arthur thought for a moment. "I was thinking maybe star wars" he suggested, prepared for a backlash.

"That sounds good. Dom?" Zosia checked. "That's fine with me" Dom replied. Arthur sat on the sofa, a bit too shocked to be able to say anything. Dom and Zosia had both just agreed to watch star wars. Weird.

"We can start it when the pizza gets here" Arthur said, finding his voice one again. "That's fine" Zosia said. "Oh, I almost forgot, there's ice cream in the freezer" Dom said. "What kind?" Arthur asked. "Cookie dough" Dom replied.

Zosia and Arthur both looked at each other and smiled. That was their favourite and for Arthur, it meant that night was going to be good.

And Arthur was right. The three friends enjoyed the pizza and ice cream while watching star wars. Arthur enjoyed every part of the night, Dom and Zosia probably enjoyed the food a bit more but nevertheless they enjoyed the film.

It was the perfect night that all three of needed. A break from the rush, a chance to slow down and just be in each other's company; just like how it used to be. The night was so good that they all fell asleep on the sofa, waking up the next day to find cold pizza and flat coke.

It was a Monday morning and a bleary eyed Dom made his way into the kitchen where Arthur and Zosia already were. "Morning" Arthur greeted. "Morning" Dom replied. "I need to get going, I'll see you boys later" Zosia said as she stood up and placed her plate in the sink before leaving.

"See ya" Dom and Arthur both replied. "So you ready for another day on Keller?" Dom asked as he sat down with his bowl of cereal. "Yep" Arthur replied, taking a sip of his tea. Dom wasn't sure whether Arthur'd had anything to eat but he knew he'd taken his medication by the box sitting next to him on the table.

"Are we working the same hours today?" Arthur asked. "I think so. 10 hour shift?" Dom asked. "Yep" Arthur replied, finishing his tea just as Dom finished his cereal. "Let's get going then."

Morven had been working at Holby now for 3 months, and she was enjoying it. She'd been on AAU and liked the work load. She also enjoyed the fact that she was now free to do stuff her way and people wouldn't really question it. Well maybe Fletch or Raf.

Speaking of Fletch, she'd heard that he'd had an argument with Arthur. Arthur, the man who'd came back from leave only to be transferred over to Keller. He'd interested her, mainly because of how much effort the others were putting in for him.

She didn't really see what was so special about him, however she hardly knew him. She'd heard different stories about him but she wasn't one to believe rumours. She liked to know the facts.

However, she knew for a fact that she didn't trust him. There was just something about him that made Morven question whether he could do his job. She read the file in front of her and saw that her patient was going to have to be transferred to Keller. Interesting.

"What have you been up to today?" Dom asked as he joined Arthur at the nurse's station. "A blood test" replied Arthur. "You?" Dom sighed. "My day sounds just as interesting as yours." Arthur chuckled at Dom's sarcasm.

"Although I do hear we have someone coming up from the AAU" Dom said. Arthur raised his eyebrows at Dom's comment, finding the man's excitement at a patient being transferred from AAU.

"Do have any idea why they're being transferred?" Arthur asked. "Nope" but at least it might give us something better to do than constant blood tests" Dom said. "Didn't you have to do an ultrasound yesterday?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah, what's that got to do with it?" Dom asked. "Well, you've done more than just blood tests" Arthur replied. Dom smiled at his friend's joke, a part of him believing that he was talking to the old Arthur.

"Morven can you do me a favour?" Raf asked. "Yeah?" Morven replied. "Can you go with Mr. Johnson when he is transferred to hand over the files and explain the situation?" Raf asked. "Yeah course" Morgan said. "Thanks, if you can get him ready the we'll get him moving as soon as I've paged AAU" Raf informed her before he left to page AAU.

Morven smiled as Raf walked away, pleased she would be able to go with Mr Johnson. She grabbed his file from the end of the bed and flicked through, checking that the information was up to date and correct.

Once she had deemed it was up to date, she placed the file back and began preparing Mr Johnson. This was going to be interesting.

"I take it you two have heard our exciting news?" Sacha asked as he approached the nurses station where Dom and Arthur were; he swore that's where they spent all their time. "What about our transfer from Keller?" Dom asked, his fake enthusiasm evident in his tone.

"Yep" Sacha replied, placing a file down on the desk. "What do you know about it?" Arthur asked. "That they're are being transferred over here for surgery, surgery to stop an internal bleed near their kidneys to be precise" Sacha explained.

"Do you know what time they're being brought over?" Dom asked. "Not quite sure, hopefully within the next hour we can get him prepped then get on with the surgery" Sacha answered. "Exciting" Dom said sarcastically, causing Arthur and Sacha to both laugh.

"Promise me that if Hanssen makes an appearance on this ward you'll cut th at sarcastic attitude straight away?" Sacha asked, trying to hide his smile as he was trying to be serious. "I promise" Dom replied, the smile on his face possibly saying otherwise.

"Just be ready when they get here" Sacha said, as he picked up another file. "Yes sir" Dom replied as Sacha walked away. "This should be interesting" Dom said. "Yes it should" Arthur agreed.

"Right Morven I've paged AAU and told them you'll have Mr Johnson over within the hour" Raf said as he joined Morven where she was sorting out Mr Johnson's IV. "Right I'll get him over as soon as possible" Morven replied.

"That's great, then we can clear this bed" Raf said, before walking away getting back to another patient.

"Have we got a bed free?" Sacha asked as he approached Dom at the nurse's station. "Where's Arthur" Sacha asked, noticing the man's absence. "He's gone to collect some blood results for Mrs Allen and yes we do have a bed free" Dom said.

"Good, because the transfer is on their way" Sacha replied, placing another file back down. "Do you know who's going be bringing him over?" Dom asked. Sacha frowned. "That new doctor, why?"

"Because Arthur isn't exactly on the best terms with Fletch and I wanted to avoid a confrontation" Dom explained. "Good thinking" Sacha said, pleased somebody had thought of that; they couldn't afford to have arguments on a case like this.

Before anyone could say anything, Arthur arrived back. "You get those bloods?" Sacha asked. "Yeah, she's now being discharged as we speak" Arthur replied. "Good, another bed clear. So as I said to Dom, he's being transferred now" Sacha said. "So be ready."

Morven rounded the corner and entered Keller. She saw Arthur and another doctor she didn't know approach her. "Right what have we got?" Dom asked, taking the file from Morven. "This is Mr Johnson, he was brought into ED after being involved in an RTC, was then transferred to AAU where we discovered the potential bleed and now he's been transferred here" Morven explained.

"Okay, if we can get him into bed 3" Arthur directed, frowning slightly when Morven didn't make a move to leave. Dom seemed to notice it too. "Thank you but we've got this now" Dom told her.

Morven nodded but instead of leaving moved a few steps backwards still watching Arthur. She'd heard rumours about his failure to diagnose patients and she wasn't going to put another patient at risk.

Arthur frowned again when he noticed Morven still hadn't left. What was her problem? She had patients she needed to get back to so why was she still there? Arthur got to work connecting the IV line, but could still feel a pair of eyes burning into his back.

He'd had enough now and couldn't concentrate properly. He turned around and saw her still standing there watching. He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"What is your problem?"

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you to LudoJudo, Tenfangirl and for reviewing, I love hearing your feedback :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 18:

He'd had enough now and couldn't concentrate properly. He turned around and saw her still standing there watching. He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"What is your problem?"

Morven just stared at Arthur, wondering what he wanted her to say. "I don't have a problem?" Morven replied, knowing there was nothing wrong with looking out for a patient's safety. "Then why are you still here?" Arthur asked, growing irritated.

Dom watched as the tension grew between the two doctors. He already knew he didn't like this Morven girl and it was something about her attitude that just made his skin crawl. He moved round to Arthur, wanting a prevent a scene being caused.

"Why don't we just get on with our job. We can report her later" Dom whispered, making sure that Morven didn't here. "Yeah" Arthur replied. He took a deep breath and got back to working on the IV line.

Morven didn't see any problem with her staying to observe. As she'd already pointed out, she was there for the patient's safety. She didn't trust Arthur, it was as simple as that. She'd heard rumours and wasn't about to let what she'd heard happen again.

"Right how long until surgery will be ready?" Dom asked as he and Arthur finished prepping Mr Johnson. "They said fifteen minutes and then we can take him along, until then we should just him rest and keep an eye on his vitals" Arthur explained.

Morven listened carefully to this, making sure Arthur hadn't got anything wrong. "Why are you waiting fifteen minutes?" Morven asked, stepping forward towards Arthur and Dom. "Because surgery with be ready for him in fifteen minutes" Dom said bluntly.

"But why are you keeping him here?" Morven asked. "Why are you still here?" Arthur asked, not in the mood to deal with this girl. Morven shifted on her feet at that question, not quite sure how she could answer.

"Well?' Dom asked, not liking this girl one bit. As soon as she was gone, Dom was reporting her and would make sure Serena dealt with it appropriately. "I just wanted to make sure Mr Johnson was alright" Morven said quietly, sensing the two men's annoyance.

"Why would you want to make sure everything's alright?" Dom asked, now curious about this girl's motives. Morven looked down at the floor, she was a terrible liar anyways and her body language wasn't helping.

"I've just formed an attachment to Mr Johnson, that's all" Morven replied, hoping it would. Dom and Arthur looked at each other, both mentally deciding what they were going to do next. Dom raised his eyebrows and Arthur nodded, the pair deciding that they weren't done with Morven just yet.

"Does Serena know you're here?" Arthur asked. Morven sighed. She never actually checked with her or Raf for that matter, meaning if she was gone for too long she would probably cause some trouble.

"Not exactly" Morven replied. In reality she was only looking out for patient welfare, that was definitely allowed. "I'm only looking out for Mr Johnson" Morven said, feeling the need to justify herself.

"Looking out for him? How?" Arthur asked, sensing he knew what was coming next. Morven doubted him. He knew it. She didn't think he was capable of doing his job; a job he'd behind longer than her.

"Morven why don't you-" Dom began however he was cut off by Arthur. "Was it me?" Arthur asked. "Excuse me?" Morven asked. "Was it me?" Arthur asked again. "Was what you?" Morven asked, preferring to play the clueless card.

"The reason why you're staying here" Arthur said, not breaking eye contact. "Why would I be here because of you?" Morven asked. "Because you don't think I'm good enough at my job" Arthur said bluntly.

"Arthur don't" Dom said, wanting his best friend to stop so they didn't cause a scene. "No Dom, I want to hear what she's got to say" Arthur said. "Arthur please, let us focus on getting Mr Johnson to surgery then we can sort this out" Dom said, trying to persuade Arthur.

Arthur stared at Morven for a moment. He nodded before turning round and getting ready to move Mr Johnson, the 15 minutes were up and if Morven was here to watch him, he wanted to get his patient into surgery on time.

"Don't move" Arthur told Morven as they walked past her.

Morven sighed as Arthur walked away, she wanted to leave then but she knew that Arthur and Dom would both just report her. She'd gotten herself into a mess and had no one to help her get out.

Morven had only been stood there for 5 minutes before the silence was broken. "Now you can tell me exactly why you're here" Arthur demanded as he walked back onto Keller with Dom following behind him.

"Are you here because of me?" Arthur asked, not giving her a chance to speak. Morven nodded slowly, not finding the confidence to speak. "Why?" Dom asked this time, he couldn't believe what was happening.

"I don't know" Morven replied. "Is it because you don't think I can do my job properly?" Arthur asked, feeling the rage building inside his chest. Morven kept quiet at that and continued to look down at the floor. "It is isn't?" Arthur growled. "Answer me!" Arthur shouted when Morven didn't reply.

"Arthur lets just go" Dom said, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder trying to pull him away. "No Dom, I want to hear what she's got to say!" Arthur shouted, feeling to angry to do anything but shout.

"Arthur we are making a scene, let's just leave this and we can sort it out later" Dom said, trying to convince his friend that this was the best option. "No, I need to hear what she has to say!" Arthur shouted again, feeling like no one was listening to him.

"Arthur, she is not worth it!" Dom shouted, hoping his friend would see sense. "All we're doing is making a scene" Dom said, however before he had time to continue Essie interrupted. "Is everything ok?" Essie asked, having watched the commotion for quite a few minutes she decided she needed to help.

"Yeah" Dom replied, not very convinced. "Are you supposed to be down here?" Essie asked as she turned to Morven. Morven looked down at the floor, unsure of what to say. "Exactly, so I think it's best if you make your way back to AAU" Essie said.

Dom thanked every lucky star there was that Essie turned up. He wasn't sure how we was supposed to get Arthur away from that situation and was afraid of it escalating. "Take him home" Essie told Dom. "I can't" Dom replied. "Don't worry about it, I'll clear it" Essie said.

Dom thanked Essie as he led Arthur back to the locker rooms to get changed and go home.

"So what was going on with you today then?" Dom asked as he joined Arthur on the sofa. Arthur sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Honestly, he didn't know what was going on with him. He started off fine and then everything just crumbled.

"I don't know" Arthur said quietly, a weird feeling coming over him. "You were fine this morning" Dom commented. "I know and then everything crumbled" Arthur finished. "I hate seeing you like this" Dom said.

"Like what?" Arthur asked, as far as he was concerned this was normal. "Worried, stressed, edgy and panicky" Dom said. "But I'm like that every day" Arthur replied, not seeing where Dom was coming was.

"But you shouldn't be." Dom sighed and looked towards Arthur. "You shouldn't be like that every day, no one should. It's like you're in a cage and you can't get out; you're locked in with your own thoughts. You're my best friend and it kills me to see this."

Arthur looked down at the floor when listening to Dom's words. He understood what Dom was saying and in a way could see what he meant. "I know that my anxiety disorder controls my life" Arthur said, evading all emotion from his voice.

"So why don't you let it go?" Dom asked, treading carefully, feeling like he was getting somewhere with his friend. "Because I can't" Arthur replied bluntly. "Why not?' Dom asked, pushing further.

"Because I need the control and I'm terrified that letting go will result in me losing complete control" Arthur explained. "But holding on is causing you to lose control" Dom pointed out. "That's the ironic thing" Arthur said, smiling as Dom chuckled.

Dom smiled at Arthur and listened to what he said. It concerned him and he knew he'd have to speak to someone but for that moment, Arthur had just opened up to him. That was a massive achievement.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you to LudoJudo, Tenfangirl, and Bonnie Sveen Fan for reviewing, I love hearing your thoughts and comments :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 19:

Essie sat the desk, conflicted over what she would do. She knew she had to report Morven because her behaviour had been absolutely unacceptable. It was Arthur that was playing on her mind.

She knew she'd have to tell someone what happened and when Morven got involved she knew that Arthur would be immediately dragged into it. But what did she say? And who was she going to tell?

Ben sighed as he flicked through his patients files on his desk. There was always one that stood out and he wasn't how much longer could stand out before it became a serious problem. Arthur's file was the one that stood out.

Arthur was one of his more challenging cases but Ben was never one to give up. He just felt like he was hitting a brick wall with Arthur and there was no way of climbing over it. But for some reason he still had a feeling that there was more to Arthur, and Ben didn't want to ruin his chances of finding that out.

He also felt like he was gaining some of Arthur's trust and that was a big deal for both of them. The last thing he wanted was to break th at trust and have Arthur shut down completely; then there was definitely a problem.

Still, he knew he needed to talk to someone. Just to talk about the situation and maybe get some advice. He had other patients and while he will give everything he's got to helping Arthur, he still had or her patients who were in need of his help and support.

Ben knew for a fact that he couldn't go to Hanssen. That would most definitely end Arthur's career. But he knew he could go to Serena and maybe Sacha to explain to them what he was concerned about.

He sighed, closing Arthur's file and putting it back in the draw. He'd figure out what to do with later.

After Arthur had opened up to him, Dom didn't bother to pressure Arthur anymore. He decided that if Arthur wanted to, he could come to him. Dom was just happy that Arthur had opened up to him.

He knew he had to tell someone but he was still deciding who. Ben would be the obvious answer but seeing how reacted after Fletch went to speak to Ben, he didn't want to take that risk. Arthur trusted him and he did not want to lose it.

Serena would probably be able to help. After all she'd helped through his time on AAU. Arthur seemed to trust her and seemed less of a risk than going to speak to Ben. Speaking of AAU, Dom remembered that there was also Raf, who seemed to have a good relationship with Arthur.

Then there was Sacha, who in some ways seemed like the most obvious choice. He was kind and caring, but he also knew when it was time to stop messing around and be serious. Dom knew Arthur definitely trusted him and he hoped that meant that if Dom spoke to Sacha, he wouldn't feel so betrayed.

"What you thinking about?" Arthur asked, noticing a short while ago, Dom had completely lost interest in the Star Wars they were watching. "Life" Dom replied with a grin on his face. Arthur laughed and turned back to the film.

Dom's attention however was now on Arthur. That person he had just seen there was Arthur. His friend. His best friend. It wasn't some anxiety ridden and stressed Arthur. It was the real Arthur.

Dom wished that he could have that Arthur back. As bad as it sounded, he didn't want this Arthur. This Arthur was scared, fragile, insecure, edgy and anxious. He was like a completely different person now and Dom didn't recognise him.

Ben said his goodbyes to his final patient of the day and say back down at his desk. Normally at this time of day he would review all of his cases but today there was one case he needed to deal with.

He'd decided he was going to head down to Keller and speak to Sacha. Express his concerns and also see how Arthur was, considering be hadn't seen him for a while. He also wanted to find out how was Arthur was generally when he was at work, get an idea for when his anxiety affected his the worst and when it affected him the least.

Ben carefully walked through the corridors, aware that people were already rushing around the hospital and it probably wouldn't help if he was rushing around too. When he arrived on Keller, he was confused by the absence of Arthur and for that matter, Dom.

He walked up to the nurse's station and found Essie sat doing paperwork. "Oh hi Ben" she greeted, looking up from her work. "Hey Essie, any idea where Arthur and Dom are?" Ben asked, confused by their absence.

The look on her face and the lack of eye contact told Ben everything. "What's happened?" Ben asked. "Have you not been told?" Essie asked, trying to put off telling Ben; she was never one to gossip.

"No. Why? What's happened?" Ben asked again, now becoming concerned. Essie sighed, now she guessed she would be the one to tell him.

"There was a slight incident earlier between new F1 on AAU and Arthur" she told him. "Arthur was in no way to blame and quite frankly I think he handled the situation quite well." Ben frowned. "What kind of incident?"

"From what I can tell, she was questioning Arthur's ability and he took offence to it and confronted her" Essie said, hoping she wasn't what they would call 'gossiping'. Ben sighed and ran a hand over his beard.

"Where's Arthur now?" Ben asked. "I sent him home, along with Dom, I felt it was for the best" Essie told him. "Right okay. What's being done about this new F1?" Ben asked. "I haven't had a chance to do anything yet" Essie said.

"You haven't a chance? Or you can't decide what to do?" Ben questioned, being a psychologist had its advantages. Essie sighed; this was the wrong person to lie to. "Both" she admitted. "I'm not sure what to say and who to tell."

"Right well, I think you should speak to Serena as she's head of AAU" Ben advised. "Also, don't feel like you're snitching on her, feel like you're helping her. She's obviously new and has a lot to learn." Essie nodded and smiled, pleased that Ben had helped her.

"Also Essie, have you any idea where Sacha is?" Ben asked, also noticing his absence. "He's currently in surgery" Essie told him and Ben nodded, not thinking of th at option.

"Right as much as I would love to stay, I've somewhere I need to be" Ben informed her. "Okay, well I'll see you later" Essie said before going back to her paperwork as Ben walked away.

"Also Ben!" Essie called. The man in question turned back round and faced Essie. "Yeah?" Ben asked. "Look after Arthur" Essie said. "I will" Ben promised before turning back round and carrying on.

Ben carried on walking through the corridors, travelling in the direction of the AAU. He wasn't going to speak to this new F1, that wasn't his problem, he was going to speak to Serena.

"Alright Ben?" Fletch asked as he watched the man enter the ward. "I'm good Fletch. Any idea where Serena is?' Ben asked. "Should be in her office" Fletch said. "Thanks mate" Ben thanked before walking towards her office.

He knocked on the door and waited for a response. "Come in!" Serena called and Ben did that exactly.

"Oh hello Ben. What can I do for you?' Serena asked, sitting down at her desk as Ben took a seat opposite her. "I need to speak to you about Arthur" Ben told her. "You do remember that Arthur doesn't work on this ward" Serena reminded him.

"Of course, I'm perfectly aware of that. I'm here because you seem to know quite well and what he's been through" Ben said. "Okay. So what can just assist you with?" Serena asked. Ben sighed, this was the part of the conversation he hadn't really planned what he was going to say.

"I'm concerned that Arthur isn't making as much progress and has sort of hit a brick wall" Ben said. Serena nodded, taking in all that Ben said. "I've come to you because if I go to Hanssen then Arthur will be sacked, there's no doubt about it" Ben explained.

Serena could see where Ben coming from and admired the fact that he was so concerned about Arthur. "Have you spoke to Mr Levy?" Serena asked. "I went to find him however he was in surgery" Ben told her.

He decided not to mention about Morven, mainly because it wasn't his place to say but also his first priority was Arthur, not some student nurse. "Right so what are you planning to do?" Serena asked.

Ben sighed. "I have to intervene somehow and we've reached the point where that just means me effectively pressuring it out of him" Ben explained. "Well I think you should do your bit and then inform Sacha" Serena said after weighing up the options.

Ben considered what she said and had to say, he agreed with her. Getting Arthur to talk would be his first priority, then they could deal with whatever else came.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you to Guest, and Guest for reviewing, hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **Also sorry for the delay in updating, I've recently had my mock exams so they've had to come first :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 20:

Serena sighed as she watched Morven leave her office. She couldn't believe she'd just had to have that conversation with a member of her team; worse a new F1. She couldn't believe what she was hearing when Essie told her. It was safe to say that Morven wouldn't be questioning anyone anytime soon.

Serena didn't know whether it was the fact that Morven had had the cheek to question another doctor or whether it was the fact the other doctor was Arthur but Serena felt a strong feeling of anger and annoyance towards the new F1.

Fair enough she'd felt them before however this time it was more of a protective feeling and she couldn't understand why. Maybe it was because she knew all Arthur had been through and like many around him, she was hoping the young man would catch a break.

Arthur sighed as he walked through the automatic doors to enter the hospital. He'd enjoyed yesterday afternoon with Dom and didn't exactly want to come back after what had happened yesterday morning.

Was he really questioned by an F1? More to the point a new F1? That shouldn't happen. It happened to no one else but him. What did he do? How did this person even know him and who he was?

He wandered through the corridors, thinking whether he should even turn up to shift. He didn't see the point and obviously if an F1 was questioning him, it wouldn't be long before someone like Sacha was questioning him. Then Hanssen.

He stopped outside Keller and sat down on one of the chairs. This was ridiculous. He felt fine yesterday and now everything had just been turned upside down. Well not that it wasn't already upside down but something about today felt different.

He was just exhausted. Physically and mentally. It's like the last year had been the worst year of his life and be couldn't see the end of the tunnel. Could he even still do his job? Properly? Obviously not as well as he could considering yesterday's events.

He took a deep breath and looked to his right and spotted a clock on the wall. He was 15 minutes late for his shift but honestly couldn't bring himself to care. He hated this feeling. He wanted it to stop but had no idea how.

Sacha looked up from the file he was reading and sighed. Arthur was 15 minutes late and he was risking a lot considering what his current situation was. Although Sacha had heard what had happened to Arthur yesterday and wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to turn up to work.

"Is Arthur not here yet?" Dom asked as he approached the nurse's station where Sacha was. "No he's 15 minutes late" Sacha replied closing the file he was reading. "Isn't Hanssen going to have something to say about that?" Dom asked. "I'm not planning on telling him" Sacha said.

Dom frowned. Arthur was never late. Never. And when he was he would panic and stress until he couldn't think properly and definitely couldn't do his job. When he left that morning Arthur had told him he would see him at work. So where was he?

"I'm going to go and look for him" Dom told Sacha. "Dom he's probably not even in the building" Sacha told him, not wanting Dom to waste time. "No I'm sure he's here" Dom said, walking away from the nurse's station and towards the exit.

Arthur took a deep breath to steady his quickening heart. He just wanted to go home. He should never have come in in the first place. He stood up and felt his legs weaken at the knees. He placed a hand on the wall the steady himself before walking off down the corridor.

Dom turned the corner from Keller and searched the corridor for any sign of his friend. He spotted Arthur waking in the other direction down the corridor. Not wanting to cause a scene, Dom speed walked down the corridor, gliding through the crowds of people.

He kept his eyes on Arthur as he made his way, making sure he didn't lose sight of him. He saw Arthur round a corner and dived between two people so he could still follow his friend.

He followed Arthur out the majn entrance and followed him down the path. He could feel himself becoming out of breath and had to call out for his friend before he lost sight of him. "Arthur!" Dom shouted.

Arthur span round at someone calling his name and felt his breath get caught in the lungs when he saw Dom. He shook his head and walked in the direction of the garden, hoping to next some peace.

Unfortunately, Arthur wasn't going to get what he wished for as Dom immediately followed him. Arthur could hear dom shouting at him to stop but he couldn't and wouldn't listen, not today; he needed to think.

"Arthur stop!" Dom shouted again, getting closer and closer to his friend. He picked up his pace and stretched his arm out, feeling Arthur just in his reach. "Arthur stop" Dom said, this time putting his hand down and on Arthur's shoulder and stopping the man in his tracks.

"What Dom!" Arthur shouted as he turned round to be face to face with his friend. "Are you alright?" Dom asked, instantly regretting it. Arthur scoffed. "What does it look like?" Dom bowed his head, trying to think of something to say.

"Why don't we sit down" Dom suggested, guiding his friend to the bench he had spotted. Arthur let his friend guide him as he tried to arrange his thoughts. But it was so hard! Dom looked worryingly at his best friend before taking a deep breath and coming out with it.

"I'm worried about you" Dom confessed. Arthur shifted on that bench but didn't answer. "Is this about yesterday?" Dom asked. "Is what about yesterday?" Arthur replied. "Why you're late and was just sitting outside Keller?"

Arthur looked down at the floor, avoiding the eye contact Dom was trying make. He didn't need to tell Dom what him being late was about; he already knew. "Arthur I'm not gonna mess around anymore" Dom told him.

"Mess around with what?" Arthur asked, confused as to what point Dom was trying to make. "This whole situation. People are trying to help you and you're just pushing them away. I'm worried about you and I know I'm not the only one" Dom explained.

"So what do you want me to do?' Arthur asked. "You have an appointment with Ben today, correct?" Arthur nodded. "Then I want you to open and let him help" Dom said. Arthur shook his head; there was no way he could do that.

"Do it for me Arthur, because this is killing me watching you hurt and suffer" Dom pleaded with him. Arthur sighed but knew he had no choice. Dom had been there for him through everything; the least he could do was make an effort.

Sacha sighed as he looked the clock. Dom had been gone for 15 minutes meaning Arthur was effectively 30 minutes late for his shift. He was about to phone Dom when he saw Ben enter the ward. Brilliant.

"Morning Ben" Sacha greeted. "Morning Sacha, Arthur nor around?" Ben asked, looking around for the young doctor. "He hasn't actually been in yet, however Dom has gone to look for him" Sacha informed him.

"Right I see. Do you mind if I go and look for them?" Ben asked. "Not at all, but if you find them, find out what's really going on with Arthur" Sacha told him. "Don't you worry" Ben said before turning and exiting the ward.

Ben sighed as he walked through the corridors, although even more determined that today he was going to get to the bottom of Arthur's situation. He walked out to the main entrance and scanned the car park and garden.

He spotted the two doctors and walked in their direction. They appeared to be talking quietly and Ben decided this was the best time to intervene. "So this is where you two got to" he said as he approached them.

"Morning" Dom greeted. Ben nodded a smile at Dom before looking at Arthur. He was looking down at the floor and didn't look very relaxed. "Do you mind if I sit down?" Ben asked Arthur. When Arthur didn't answer Ben looked to Dom who nodded. As Ben sat down, Dom looked at Ben and nodded his head in the direction of the building; silently telling Ben he had to get back.

"Listen Arthur, I need to go but I'll see you later" Dom said before he stood up from the bench and made his way back inside. That now left Ben with Arthur and Ben knew what he had to do.

"I've never really liked the office, much prefer being outside" Ben said. Arthur nodded, trying to take in what Ben was saying but all the while repeating the words Dom had said to him in his head. He needed to do this. He needed to help himself. Before it was too late.

"I'm not here to judge you but I need you to help me on this one. I want you to tell me exactly what is going through your head" Ben instructed. Arthur sighed, slightly uncomfortable with the way Ben was pushing him but knew there was a reason behind it.

"Panic. Stress. Anxiety. Exhaustion. Embarrassment. Shame. Doubt" Arthur rambled not stopping to think about what he was saying. "Why those things?" Ben asked, happy they were getting somewhere.

Arthur sighed. He had to tell Ben. He looked around at the general bustle of the day; everyone going about their daily business. No one was paying attention to him and what he was doing.

"Because they're all i feel every day single second of every single day. I can't concentrate and I can't focus. I'm so scared about everything going wrong; I don't even want to leave the house. Everyday it feels like I'm constantly waiting for something to happen, I can't enjoy myself, and I can't appreciate those around me. I hate myself for it and feel so pathetic. I just want it to stop. It sounds stupid and-"

"No it doesn't" Ben interrupted. Arthur took a deep breath and blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. "What you've just done is probably the most important thing you'll do in terms of your recovery" Ben told him.

"How do you mean?" Arthur asked. "You've admitted that you need to recover, so now all you need to do is recover. Which when you want to do it, is actually a lot easier than you think" Ben explained.

"I just want this to end" Arthur said burying his face in his hands and letting the tears fall. Ben rubbed a hand on the young doctor's back, happy that finally they had got somewhere. Now he had to follow through with the second part of his plan.

 **Only a few more chapters left now, thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you to Tenfangirl, and Bonnie Sveen Fan for reviewing, your support means so much :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 21:

Arthur sat in Ben's office, his hands wrapped tightly around a plastic cup of water. He couldn't believe what he'd done today. It felt like he'd let all demons out and he had nothing else to give. Ben had gone to find to Dom, he knew that much, and probably going to speak to Sacha that Arthur could no longer do his job; wouldn't surprise him.

He didn't know why but he felt like he could breathe easier. He felt like whatever was clamping down on his chest and making him so afraid had vanished; vanished where he had no idea. Deep down be knew why he felt relieved, but his mind wasn't quite ready to accept it.

"Hey Dom, are you busy at the moment?" Ben asked as he approached Dom at the nurse's station. He felt obliged to come and inform Dom of Arthur's situation, simply because Dom was the reason Ben had been able to get through.

"Not really. Why?" Dom asked. "Arthur's in my office and I think he could do with some company while I sort some things out" Ben explained. "Yeah, yeah, is everything alright?" Dom asked again.

"Thanks to you, he opened up and told me everything. He just needs his friend right now" Ben said. "What about Sacha?" Dom asked. "I'll clear it, don't worry, you just go and be with Arthur." Dom smiled as he thanked Ben, before leaving AAU, going off to find his friend.

"Everything alright Ben?' Sacha asked. "Yeah, actually are you busy?" Ben asked. "Not right now, what can I do for you?" Sacha asked. "Is there somewhere we could go?' Ben asked. Sacha frowned. "Yeah, follow me" Sacha said, leading Ben into the empty locker room.

"What's happened?" Sacha asked as he and Ben sat down on one of the benches. "I need to ask you a favour, but I know you may not be able to verify it" Ben said. "Okay, what is it?" Sacha asked.

"Arthur opened up to me today, and I mean properly opened up" Ben started. "I think that he would benefit massively from some time off." Sacha understood where Ben was coming from, he could see the massive benefit it would have, but there was a problem.

"I agree with you Ben, but you know the problem here, I can't authorise time off" Sacha said, feeling bad as he saw the disappointment in Ben's eyes. "Its Hanssen I'm going to have to go isn't it?" Ben asked.

"Yep" Sacha said, as he nodded sadly. "Brilliant" Ben sighed, leaning back against one of the lockers. "I could back you up" Sacha suggested, trying to make the situation seems more positive.

"I'm going to need all the backing up in the world to make this work" Ben said, feeling slightly defeated and less hopeful that his plan would work. "I still think you should speak to Hanssen" Sacha said. "You really think so?" Ben asked. "Of course, I wouldn't say so otherwise" Sacha said, giving Ben a knowing smile.

Dom knocked quietly on the door to Ben's office, already feeling like an intruder. When he received no reply, he carefully opened the door and poked his head around to find his friend sitting on sofas.

"Hey" Dom greeted, hoping things wouldn't be as awkward as they felt. Arthur looked up from where he was staring at the floor, not quite sure how to greet his friend. He offered him a small smile, which Dom seemed ecstatic about.

Dom smiled back at his friend as walked across the room to sit next to his friend. As soon as Dom sat down, he ran out of things to say which resulted in and awkward silence between him and Arthur.

A few minutes later, which felt like a few hours, Dom finally found something to say. "I'm proud of you, you know that?" Dom asked. "What, proud that I spoke to Ben?" Arthur asked, not convinced by Dom's statement.

"No, I'm proud of you for everything, this past year has been so tough on you, but you pulled through" Dom explained. Arthur, listened to Dom's words but honestly couldn't find the words to reply.

"And you should be proud too. Because you did this, you pulled yourself through this past year, I didn't do it for you" Dom told his friend, hoping that at least some of the old Arthur was listening.

Arthur didn't have the courage to look Dom in the eyes, but he did listen to every word. He got it. He understood what Dom was saying and with all his might, told himself to believe it. He'd got himself to this point; no one else.

Dom didn't break his gaze on Arthur until his friend, brought his head up and looked at him. Arthur looked Dom straight in the eyes and offered him a small smile. Dom smiled back instantly; he knew they'd be alright.

"So what you're asking me is to give an F1 who has already has time off, and tested the patience of this facility more than any other patient, two weeks off?" Hanssen asked, getting Ben's request clear.

Ben sighed; he knew this would be a tough battle. "Yes, but I can guarantee you that Arthur will come back fully prepared to work" Ben said, fighting his cause. "How can you guarantee that? How do you know he will come back and fulfil his job requirements?" Hanssen questioned.

"How do you know he won't?" Ben challenged, determined to walk out of the office with the result he hoped for. "But he's already had time off, surely he shouldn't need more time, especially not two weeks. I can't afford to lose another doctor" Hanssen explained.

"You see this is the problem" Ben stated. Hanssen frowned. "I don't know what you mean, Dr. Harding." Ben sighed. "You specialise in physical health, but when it comes to mental and emotional health; you really have no idea. You think someone can overcome their anxiety disorder in a couple of days? Confront fears they've feared all their life? Breathe easily without the weight of the world pushing down on their chest?"

"You don't understand and quite honestly it's shocking" Ben said sternly. "It shows how little people know, even someone like you who works in the healthcare system. How can you expect Arthur to properly recover if you won't give him a chance? If you won't give him a chance to come back and prove himself and what he can do?"

"I'm not going to raise my voice and quite frankly I know I'm wasting my breath" Ben said as he stood up from the chair he was sitting on. "But please listen and take into consideration what I've told you. Arthur just needs a break and then a chance, if you can give him them, then I promise the rest will come naturally" Ben finished before he walked out the room, leaving Hanssen in silence.

"How did it go?" Sacha asked as he bumped into Ben in the corridor. "I told him him the truth; what I really thought of the situation" Ben said. Sacha smiled. "He'll definitely listen now." Ben returned the smile. "Let's hope so yeah."

"What do you fancy doing tonight?" Dom asked. Arthur shrugged, not really wanting to engage in conversation with his friend who seemed determined to break the silence. "What about Saturday, we're all off, we could have a movie night" Dom suggested.

Before Arthur had a chance to answer, he heard the door open and looked up to see Ben entering the room. Ben offered him a small smile and Arthur immediately knew something was up; everyone was being so nice to him.

"What's going on?" Arthur asked, looking between Ben and his friend. "I really have no idea" Dom said, as confused as Arthur about what was going on. Arthur looked to Ben, waiting for an answer.

Ben took a deep breath, about to answer and explain everything, when I knock at his office door, interrupted them. "Come in!" Ben called, aware Arthur and Dom were waiting and watching on him with eagle eyes.

Hanssen entered the office and looked to Ben. "I've agreed to what you proposed, just make sure you keep you keep your end of the deal" Hanssen said before nodding his head and leaving the room.

"What was that about?" Arthur asked, he hated the feeling of not knowing. "I've convinced Hanssen to give you two weeks off" Ben told him. "What? Why?" Arthur questioned. "Because you need it. Take a break, get your head together, then come back healthy and ready to work."

"What about Dom?" Arthur asked, not wanting to be on his own for two weeks. "Sacha sorted it. You'll still have regular appointments with me, but you won't be needed in work for the next two weeks" Ben explained.

"That's great" Dom said, pleased his friend was now being given the chance to recover. "Yep, so why don't you two get yourselves home, I'll see you in few days" Ben said to Arthur, who as Ben suspected didn't reply.

Dom said their thanks, before they both left Ben's office and headed home themselves. Ben offered Dom an encouraging smile, all the while hoping he could keep his side of the deal and Arthur would prove him right.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Thank you to and Tenfangirl for reviewing, your support means so much and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 22:

They were only two days into Arthur and Dom's two weeks off and Arthur was struggling. He was so bored. Yesterday him and Dom had gone out for a walk around the park but that was it. Was he supposed to sit here and go through every thought in head?

He had an appointment with Ben tomorrow and in all honesty, he was dreading it. He knew exactly what they would talk about. Why he had been given leave. What he was going to do for the next two weeks. Oh yes, and then there was his anxiety which would always be the main topic of conversation.

"What you thinking?" Dom asked as he entered the living room, finding Arthur in deep thought. Arthur's head snapped up as he registered what Dom had asked him. "Oh nothing" Arthur dismissed, hoping Dom wouldn't bring it up again.

Dom seemed to get that Arthur didn't want to talk about it, so instead moved on to ask what he entered the living room to find out. "What do you fancy doing today?" Dom asked. Dom watched as Arthur sighed and rolled his eyes; that was not the reaction he'd been expecting.

"I don't really fancy doing anything today, Dom" Arthur replied, really he wanted to anything and everything that would take his mind off the thoughts in his head. "Are you sure we could go out somewhere" Dom suggested, knowing that Arthur would benefit from doing something.

Arthur thought about it for a moment and decided he definitely wanted to do something. "Yeah, let's go out somewhere."

It was the third day and Arthur was sat in Ben's office, once again battling the demons in his head. "You feel alright, you look a bit pale?" Ben asked, noticing Arthur wasn't his usual self. "Yeah, I just didn't get much sleep last night" Arthur said.

Ben frowned at this, knowing Arthur missing out on sleep and struggling to get to sleep would do nothing to help his recovery. "Anything in particular keeping you up?" Ben asked. Arthur shrugged, now regretting mentioning that he couldn't sleep.

"It doesn't have to be anxiety that is keeping you up" Ben told him. Arthur nodded, picking at the edge of the sofa be was sitting on. He didn't know what to say that wouldn't make Ben have more suspicions or ask him more questions.

"I think it's just because I'm not at work anymore" Arthur said, trying to move the conversation onwards. Ben nodded at that, accepting that Arthur obviously didn't want to talk about it.

The rest of the session moved on swiftly with Ben not asking too many questions and Arthur not feeling that uncomfortable. They discussed more about why Arthur had struggled so much at work and despite how little Arthur had said, Ben thought he had gained a clearer picture.

Two days later and Arthur felt that finally the time off w as actually doing him some good. He'd woken up on his fifth day and felt awake which he hadn't felt in a long time. He realised as he was eating his breakfast that his felt clear and he could think straight; his chest felt light and not like bricks were being piled on top of it.

He could still feel the anxiety and the idea of having another session with Ben in two days w as stressing him out because he didn't known whether he was strong enough to fight it further. However, his small achievement that day was enough to give him some hope.

One week in and Arthur took staring at himself in the mirror. He had his appointment with Ben today and was considering telling him something but didn't know if he had to courage or the will.

He'd been thinking that previous night and had come to realise that his anxiety had got a whole lot worse when he'd started working at Holby. In fact not even Holby, it was when he entered the nursing industry; the medical industry and decided he wanted to be a doctor.

So he'd come to a decision last night. Was he sure about it? Definitely not. But he'd decided out of all his options left this one was probably the best and would cause the least stress for Arthur. Hopefully.

In all honesty, Ben wasn't surprised when Arthur told him that he wanted to leave the medical industry. He'd suspected and knew that in Arthur's eyes it was the easiest way of the stresses in his life. However, Ben wasn't going to give in so easily and had come with a plan to try and get Arthur to change his mind; first he needed to find out why he wanted to leave.

"What made you change your mind about staying in the medical industry?" Ben asked. Arthur sighed; now he didn't know how to explain it. "I guess it's just caused me so much stress and everything's just went downhill since I starting working at Holby."

Ben nodded, understanding what Arthur was telling him. He could see why Arthur wanted to leave and knew that yes it was a massive stress in his life but there were more positive reasons than negative.

"Have you actually thought about your reasons for wanting to leave?" Ben asked. "What do you mean?" Arthur questioned. The fact that Arthur questioned Ben told him that he was correct in thinking that Arthur hadn't thought this through.

"What gives you a reason to get up in the morning?" Ben asked him. He watched as Arthur processed the question and tried to think of answer. "I don't want you to answer it yet but as the session's over that's what I want to away and think about" Ben instructed him.

Three days later and Arthur was sat in the living room while Dom cleaned the entire house. Like Arthur has never seen Dom do cleaning of this sort and assumed it was because he never had time.

Then that brought Arthur on to his next subject; his job. He'd had a nice few days with Dom and even yesterday with Zosia so hadn't actually had a chance to sit down and think about it. But now he did he could see that Ben was right.

His job have him a reason to get up in the morning. Even now the only reason he'd get up was because he knew that eventually he would be going back. He'd also miss the people, the patients and just generally the whole working environment.

And Ben was right. He had worked too hard to go and give up on it now. All the time and money he'd spent studying at medical school wasn't for nothing; it was because he wanted to do this job and without it he would be nothing.

"Did you think about what I asked you to think about?" Ben asked the next day. "I did" Arthur replied. "And did you conclude?" Ben asked hoping he'd gone for the sensible option as not only was the that best option it also have Ben an idea of where Arthur was in his recovery.

"I don't want to leave" Arthur said and Ben felt himself release a breath he didn't realise he was holding. "Do you think that's the right option?" Ben asked. "Do you?" Arthur asked. "I already knew it was the right one. I'm asking you whether you think you've made the right decision."

Arthur nodded and took a deep breath, expecting himself to be nervous and anxious however those feelings didn't come. "I just realIsed that it's the reason I get up in the morning and that I've worked too hard to get here to throw it all away" Arthur explained. Ben nodded signalling that he agreed with what Arthur was saying.

"So speaking of going back to work I have something tell you" Ben said, grabbing Arthur's full attention. "On your last off, so in three days time, Hanssen, Sacha and Serena would like to go in for a meeting with them."

"A meeting about what?" Arthur asked. "Your return to work and how they are going to take it from there" Ben told him. Arthur took in what Ben had said and even though he didn't want to go he knew he would have to.

"How does that sound?" Ben asked, noticing Arthur's reservations. "Okay, like I get why they're doing it" Arthur said. "How do you feel about going back to work?" Ben asked. Arthur looked down at his lap while he thought. "I actually feel alright, like it's what I want" Arthur said.

Ben gave him a smile and for the first time in all of Arthur's recovery he had hope that they were actually getting somewhere.

Three days later and Arthur stood in front of his mirror. He straightened out the collar of his polo shirt he was wearing and took a deep breath. Today was the day.

 **Only 2 chapters left now**

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you to and Tenfangirl for reviewing, as always your support for this story is greatly appreciated :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 23:

Three days later and Arthur stood in front of his mirror. He straightened out the collar of his polo shirt he was wearing and took a deep breath. Today was the day.

He felt nervous but not as nervous he thought he would. This was what he had worked towards and he wasn't going to let it go now. However there was something still niggling at the back of his mind.

He still doubted whether he wanted to do this.

Whether he wanted to continue his career in medicine. Whether he wanted to face the endless sleepless nights and stress filled days. But then what Ben had said to him always lingers in the back of his mind.

He had worked hard for this. He had worked too hard and come this far to throw it all away.

He took another deep breath, before walking out his bedroom, prepared and optimistic about this meeting for his return to work.

His thoughts wavered slightly when he was sitting outside Hanssen's office and could already see Sacha and Serena inside. They were talking about something, almost certainly him, and Arthur wanted to know what they were saying.

He was drawn from his thoughts by someone calling his name down the corridor. "Arthur!" He looked up and found that it was Dom making his way down the corridor. "Hey" Arthur greeted. Dom smiled and sat down next to him.

"Just wanted to wish you good luck, but not that you'll need it" Dom said. "Thanks" Arthur replied, enjoying the company of friend more than anything else he could say. They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Dom had to make his exit.

"Look I should get back to my shift, but come and find me when you're done" Dom told him as he stood up. Arthur nodded in reply and watched as Dom walked away.

"Are we all settled on what we're going to be informing Dr. Digby today?" Hanssen asked. "I think so yeah" Sacha replied confidently. "Yes, however there is one more thing" Serena said, attracting the other men's attention.

"Which is?" Hanssen asked, thinking they had covered all topics. "The relationship between Dr. Digby and Nurse Fletcher is still slightly tense and in order to make Arthur's transition back to work as smooth as possible I think it's a good idea the two patch things up."

"I agree" Sacha said, knowing how bad the tension between the two had got. "How do you suggest they patch things up?" Hanssen asked. "Have Fletch pop over at the end of this meeting, meaning Arthur has no excuse to walk away like i know he normally does" Serena suggested.

"Alright we'll do that, I'll page Fletch down here at the end" Sacha said. "Now that's sorted is there anything else?" Hanssen asked. Serena and Sacha both thought and then shook their heads, answering no to his question.

"Right well, let's invite Dr. Digby in."

Arthur looked up as he heard the door open, taking a deep breath and rose from his seat, reminding himself he had nothing to to fear.

"So Dr, Digby as you know, this will be your last chance to return to work before more serious action has to be taken" Hanssen clarified. Arthur nodded, not trusting his voice as he glanced at each of the faces round the table they were sitting at.

"Okay so one of things we want to discuss is your working hours when you return" Sacha said. "We think it would beneficial if you worked less hours when you return and gradually build them up over a period of 6 to 8 weeks" Serena explained.

Arthur nodded at what they were saying, showing that he was listening. He wasn't necessarily happy with the idea but knew it was the only option if he was to return to work. "That sounds alright" Arthur said, knowing that it was the sensible option.

"Right so that's sorted, there's something else we need ro address" Serena said. "Which is?" Arthur asked. "Your relationship with Nurse Fletcher needs to be sorted out before you return because I can't have my staff holding grudges against each other" Hanssen said.

Arthur sighed, he should have known this would come up but still, he didn't want to talk about it. Anyways there was nothing to talk about. Fletch had gone behind his back and that was that.

"How do you want us to make up" Arthur asked, sensing the three people in the room already had an idea. "Once we've finished this meeting, Fletch is going to come here and you two are going to sort this out" Sacha explained.

Arthur felt like objecting but knew that wouldn't help anyone and would probably delay his return to work. Instead he just nodded, not sure he had anything else to say. He would only agree to this for Dom.

He didn't want to let Dom down.

"How does that sound?" Sacha asked, breaking Arthur from his thoughts. "Yeah fine" Arthur replied, knowing objecting would just cause a world of trouble.

"Right then I think that's it unless you have any questions, Dr. Digby?" Hanssen asked before the meeting with Fletch would take place. Arthur hesitated for a moment, actually thinking whether he had anything to ask and came to the conclusion he didn't.

"No" Arthur said, answering their question. "Right okay, I'll get Fletch down here" Sacha said, standing up and leaving the room. "I best be back off but I'll check back in later to see how it goes" Serena said, she too standing up and excusing herself from the room.

Arthur sat there in silence with Hanssen, not wanting to make conversation with the man. In all honesty he was nervous about this meeting with Fletch, because thinking back over what happened, Arthur could see that he was the one completely in the wrong.

However that didn't mean he was willing to admit it.

A knock at the door brought Arthur out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw that Fletch was entering the room. "Right I'll be back in 10 minutes to see where we are at" Hanssen said as he to stood up before leaving the room.

Fletch took a seat down at the table across from the Arthur, although immediately regretting that decision when it made things more formal. He cleared his throat as he thought of something to say.

"Look mate, I don't want this to be awkward and quite frankly I don't want the tension between us to escalate so I'm going to apologise for whatever it is you think I've done and hopefully we can move on" Fletch said, knowing the bigger man in this situation would benefit all involved.

Arthur took in what Fletch was saying and he knew the older man was right. In reality Fletch didn't really do anything wrong and Arthur just wasn't in the right mindset to deal with it, he knew that.

But now Arthur had to explain to Fletch.

"Look Fletch, I know now that you didn't do anything wrong. It was me and my mind wasn't in the right place. I can see now why you spoke to Ben and I don't want us to stay fallen out" Arthur explained.

Fletch smiled at him and finally felt content with the situation. "So me and you okay now?" Fletch asked. "Yeah" Arthur replied, smiling up at Fletch. "Brilliant Diggers" Fletch said just as Hanssen walked back in.

"Please tell me you two have sorted out your differences?" Hanssen asked as he placed a file he was holding down on his desk. "Yep, you've for nothing to worry about now" Fletch said, flashing Arthur a smile as to which Arthur flashed back.

That night Arthur lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He thought through everything that had happened that day and smiled. He smiled because for first time in a long time, he felt good about going back to work.

 **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next time for the final chapter :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Thank you to and Tenfangirl for reviewing, your support for this story has been amazing and I hope you enjoy the final chapter :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 24:

24 hours later.

Arthur lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. His first day back couldn't have gone better. He smiled because he felt that he was in control, but not obsessive control. He was relaxed.

Relaxed about his life and job. Something he hadn't felt in so long. Sure he knew he'd have bad days and times where his anxiety would get the better of him but he had least proves to himself that he could have a good day.

Everything that day had just felt new and fresh, and Arthur put that down to his two weeks off. He'd gone in feeling awake and ready, instead of nervous and irritable. He felt ready to tackle whatever situation he may have been faced with, which was a rarity for him.

He also realised he felt ready to deal with people that day, more ready than he'd ever felt. Fair enough he was only on shift for five hours but to him that was an achievement, especially without having any intense feelings of anxiety.

He knew it was small steps and a five hour shift was nothing compared to a twelve or fourteen hour one but it was progress, and right now that's all Arthur needed. It was something Ben kept telling him, some progress was better than no progress.

Sorting out his differences with Fletch also seemed to lift a massive weight off his shoulders. A weight he didn't know was there. He felt so much more relaxed knowing he didn't have a lingering argument stuck in the back of the his head.

And he'd also come to realise how much he'd missed Fletch, not only as a work colleague but also as a friend. He was someone that had never judged Arthur and even though he didn't know it, Arthur was eternally grateful and somehow Fletch could sense that.

He also didn't know whether it was because he was much more relaxed or people were treating him differently, but he felt as though no one was out to have a go at him. He didn't feel judged and that lifted a huge weight from shoulders.

Positive was how he felt about the future, for the first time. He wasn't worried about what was happening tomorrow or next week, but he knew that it wouldn't always be like this. He knew he'd have days when he'd want to curl up into a ball ans hide from the world.

But at least now he didn't feel ashamed to do that.

It was times like this when Arthur let his thoughts run away with him, that he realized just how lucky he was. He still had his job; his career that he'd worked tirelessly for and almost threw away.

He had a great support network of people around him who, despite every time he pushed them away, were always there to pick up the pieces when the jigsaw didn't quite fit properly. They never seemed to tire of him and had never once treated Arthur differently.

Arthur supposed he had a lot to be thankful for.

He could feel his eyes begin to droop and knew he'd soon enough fall asleep and wake up tomorrow, ready to face the day. He knew his life wouldn't be perfect from now on, it never had been and never would be, but he knew how to handle it.

He finally knew how to cope when everything went 'wrong'. Whatever that meant.

And with that thought Arthur fell asleep, for now without the burden of anxiety sitting on his shoulder.

 **Now that we've finished the story I just wanted to say thank you to the 3000+ views this story has had and also a special thank you to:**

 **Tenfangirl**

 **LudoJudo**

 **Bonnie Sveen Fan**

 **Guest**

 **Whose feedback, thoughts, comments, and ideas have helped fuel my own ideas for this story**

 **Thank you :)**


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